


Meet Me in the Afterglow

by linksofmemories



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bittersweet Ending, First Love, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Magical Realism, Summer Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:00:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24712735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linksofmemories/pseuds/linksofmemories
Summary: It was his last summer vacation and Beomgyu was determined to spend it by himself. He was counting down the days until school started, so that he could be with his friends again. Those plans didn't work out though. Beomgyu quickly realized that this would be the most important summer break of his life after meeting a former upperclassman and starting a relationship that was doomed from the beginning.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin
Comments: 35
Kudos: 136





	Meet Me in the Afterglow

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from ["Afterglow"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HxbqAsppwU) by Taylor Swift.
> 
> [Moodboard](https://twitter.com/linksofmemories/status/1272044594730057730)

“Hyung.” Someone tapped on his shoulder. “Hyung, wake up.” They now started to shake him. “It’s time to go. I can’t believe you’re sleeping–”

“I’m not sleeping,” Beomgyu said. “I’m resting my eyes.”

“You were snoring.”

“I don’t snore.”

“Well, it sure sounded a lot like snoring.”

Beomgyu slowly opened his eyes, squinting against the summer afternoon sun that came through the row of windows in their classroom. The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was watching two small gray birds on the windowsill, having an argument. He didn’t know what they were fighting about, but there had been a lot of beak pecking and aggressive wing flapping. They were gone now, so they must have either worked out their differences or had left without coming to an agreement.

“It doesn’t matter if I was sleeping or not,” he said, sitting up in his chair and stretching his arms over his head. Beomgyu looked around the classroom to see that everyone had left except for Taehyun and Kai. “Where’d everyone go?”

“They went home,” Taehyun said. “Today was the last day before summer break, remember? We have six weeks off. No one wanted to stick around.”

“Oh, right.”

He used to love summer break when he was younger, but it had lost its luster over the past couple of years. Beomgyu was in his last year of high school. This was his last summer break before going to university. Summer break for him meant going to extra lessons and helping his parents out at the museum.

“You could try to sound a bit more excited,” Taehyun said.

“Yeah, I know,” Beomgyu said. “I’ll have you two to hang out with. I guess I won’t be bored that way.”

“Right, about that, uh,” Kai said. He looked at Taehyun with panicked eyes, like he was trying to get him to explain things instead. Taehyun ignored him and walked to the lockers in the back of the classroom. “Our families made plans together.”

“What kind of plans?” Beomgyu asked.

“We’re all going to Jeju-do for the summer,” Taehyun said. “It was a last minute thing. They only told us about it yesterday.”

“You’ll be there for the entire break?” Beomgyu asked. “Your parents aren’t making you take extra classes?”

“They’re making us bring work on the trip,” Taehyun said. “It’ll be self-study mostly, but we’ll help each other out as well.”

Taehyun spoke about it like it wasn’t a big deal, but Kai had a much different outlook on it. He wrapped his arms around Taehyun’s shoulders from behind and pressed his face against his neck, whining loudly.

“It’s going to be torture,” he said. “We’ll be at the beach, but we won’t be able to play until we finish our daily assignments.”

“The beach will just give us the extra motivation we need to do our work,” Taehyun said, turning slightly so that he could pat the top of Kai’s head.

Beomgyu watched silently as the two talked. He always thought that the two of them made a weird pair. Beomgyu had known them since their first year together in high school. Unlike all the other students, Beomgyu didn’t have any friends in his class that he already knew from middle school. He had sat by himself during lunch for exactly five minutes before Taehyun and Kai invited him to eat with them. They had become his best friends, but sometimes he still felt like an intruder who had forcefully made his way into their friendship.

“I can’t believe you two are abandoning me this summer,” Beomgyu said.

“We’re not abandoning you,” Taehyun said. “I can ask my mom if I can invite you.”

“No, that’s okay,” he said. “I don’t want to ruin your plans. An extra person costs a lot of money on a trip like that.”

Taehyun and Kai exchanged a look, their eyes saying more than their words ever could. Beomgyu assumed that was what happened when two people had been friends since childhood. He had a similar connection with his older brother who had moved to Seoul a few years ago.

“We can ask our parents to cut the trip short,” Kai said.

“Don’t do that,” Beomgyu said. “I’ll be fine. You two shouldn’t worry about me. I’m only a little grumpy because I just woke up from a nap.”

“So you _were_ sleeping,” Kai said. “I knew it.”

They all took what they needed from their lockers and then left the classroom. The halls were almost completely empty. They passed by a small group of students talking to a teacher about summer homework, but those were the only other people they saw. When they exited the school, Beomgyu went to the bike rack to unlock the chain around his bike. Taehyun and Kai watched him fumble with the key in the lock until he finally got it to work on the third try.

“I need to replace this old thing,” Beomgyu said, shoving the lock into his backpack.

“Is this your way of telling us that you want us to buy you a new bike lock for your birthday?” Kai asked.

“You better not get me a bike lock for my birthday,” he said. “That’s such a lame gift.”

“It’d be practical though,” Taehyun said. “How long have you had that one?”

“Since middle school,” Beomgyu said. “It’s a hand-me-down from Yeonjun.”

Most of his possessions were hand-me-downs from his older brother. He didn’t come from a wealthy, or even average, family. His parents owned a small historical museum in town that was dedicated to a noblewoman from the 1700s named Mun Yuseong. She wasn’t a particularly interesting figure in Korean history, but her diaries and possessions had been in their family for generations. His grandparents had opened the museum in her honor, but business wasn’t exactly booming. Their town was too small to attract tourists from other countries, so they had to rely on school trips and truly dedicated historians for business.

“I have an extra bike lock,” Taehyun said. “I can give it to you if–”

“No thanks,” Beomgyu said. “This one works fine.”

They all knew he was lying. Every day after school they watched him struggle with the lock. Beomgyu knew he was being prideful by not accepting Taehyun’s offer. Part of him didn’t like appearing weak in front of them. They were in the same year at school, but he was a year older than them. After a lifetime of living in his older brother’s shadow, he had come to realize that he liked being the oldest among his friends.

“Well, if you change your mind, just let me know,” Taehyun said.

“Sure, I’ll do that.”

Beomgyu walked with them to the school gate. “When are you all leaving for your trip?”

“Tomorrow,” Kai said.

“That’s really soon,” Beomgyu said. “I hope you guys have a good time.”

“We’d have more fun if you were there, hyung,” Taehyun said.

He wasn’t sure that was totally true, but Beomgyu didn’t mention his doubts to them. They both gave him tight hugs and he felt the small amount of excitement he had once had for summer break leave him. Beomgyu couldn’t believe he would be counting down the days until school started again.

“I’ll buy you a really cool souvenir,” Kai said. “Do you want anything special? Like a t-shirt or something?”

“You don’t have to buy me anything,” Beomgyu said. “I’ve been to Jeju-do before.”

“I know, but I still want to get you something,” Kai said.

“Well, if you insist, then go ahead,” Beomgyu said. “Get me a souvenir that’s unexpected, unconventional.”

“There’s nothing unconventional about Jeju-do,” Taehyun said.

“So it’ll make the search for the perfect souvenir even more fun,” Kai said.

“You really don’t have to waste your money on me,” Beomgyu said.

“Too late!” Kai said. “I’ve already decided.”

They pulled him in for a final group hug. Beomgyu leaned into both of them, trying to remember the feeling of being with his friends so that he could recall the memory when he got lonely. Six weeks wasn’t that long, but boring and lonely summer days had a way of feeling like they would last forever. He tried to remember the exact tone of Kai’s laugh and the angle of Taehyun’s soft smile. The absence of their company was likely to be deafening for him.

After their slightly melodramatic goodbyes, Beomgyu got on his bike and started to peddle in the opposite direction. He had survived through lonely summers before. This one wouldn’t be any different. He could do it again.

★彡

“Taehyun and Kai are doing self-study this summer,” Beomgyu said. “Can I do that, too?”

Neither of his parents answered him right away. They continued to eat their dinner in silence. So much time had passed that Beomgyu wondered if they had even heard them. He was about to repeat himself when his father spoke up.

“If that’s what you really want, then that’s fine with me,” he said. “It’ll save us money, so I won’t complain.”

“Don’t make him think that money is the only reason why you’re agreeing to this,” his mother said. “We sent Yeonjun to extra lessons, so we wanted you to have the same opportunity.”

“I know,” Beomgyu said. “I’m not the same as hyung though. I’d rather do self-study.”

“All right,” she said. “Will you be doing it with Taehyun and Kai? The three of you can help each other.”

“Uh, no,” Beomgyu said. “Their families are going to Jeju-do for summer break.”

The dinner table was enveloped in awkward silence again and he was starting to regret asking for permission. He pushed around the food on his plate with his chopsticks, hoping one of them would say something to break the silence. It was hard to remember the last time the three of them had a normal dinner together.

“I need you to close the museum tomorrow,” his father said.

“Okay,” Beomgyu said. “What time do you want me to get there?”

“Show up after you have lunch,” he said. “Around noon or one o’clock.”

“Sure.”

He didn’t know what to say to them and they never knew what to say to him. They ate dinner together as a family every day and Beomgyu always dreaded it. Yeonjun’s absence was the most obvious when the three of them were together. He had a way of filling every silence. His small talk skills were exceptional. He listened attentively to what others said and asked them appropriate and interesting follow-up questions. Beomgyu wasn’t sure who he inherited that trait from since both of their parents were usually so quiet and reserved.

After dinner he went to his room. It was just big enough for his twin size bed and a small desk. His closet was full of clothes and books and toys from his childhood he had a hard time parting with. It was messy and cluttered, but Beomgyu didn’t know how to make it more homey and comfortable.

He sat down at his desk and took out the packets of summer homework his teachers had passed out. Each packet was full of practice problems, readings, and links to websites where even more work would be waiting for him. Just looking at the packets overwhelmed him, so he shoved them into his desk drawer. He would most likely take them out a week before the break was over and lose sleep trying to finish everything on time.

Beomgyu’s phone started to vibrate in his pocket. It did it more than once, so he knew he had a phone call instead of a text. He took it out, seeing Yeonjun’s name and a selfie they had taken together right before Yeonjun left for Seoul. Beomgyu hated the picture because his eyes looked red and puffy from crying.

“Hey, hyung,” he said after answering the call.

“Wow, you sound thrilled to be talking to me,” Yeonjun said. “I can call back later if you’re in a bad mood.”

“I’m not in a bad mood,” Beomgyu said. His tone wasn’t exactly helping his case. He sounded like he was snapping at him. “I mean, I’m not…” Beomgyu sighed. “I’m sorry, hyung. Today has been weird.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Okay, well, do you want to talk about summer break?” Yeonjun asked. “Yours starts tomorrow, doesn’t it? Do you have any exciting plans?”

“No,” Beomgyu said. “I’m going to spend it all by myself. Appa is probably going to make me work long hours at the museum. I’ve got a ton of homework. Taehyun and Kai and their families are going on vacation together.”

“Aren’t you going to an academy for extra lessons?” Yeonjun said. “I’m sure you’ll make a lot of new friends–”

“I’m doing self-study.”

“Damn,” Yeonjun said. “You’re not planning on doing any socializing, are you?”

“Why should I?”

Yeonjun sighed, the same sigh he always did whenever Beomgyu was disappointing him. He sat down on the edge of his bed, keeping his phone pressed against his ear as he waited for Yeonjun’s lecture. Beomgyu closed his eyes and tried to imagine what Yeonjun was doing. He was probably in his bedroom in his cramped apartment in Seoul so that his roommates wouldn’t interrupt him. Maybe earlier that night they had all gone out to dinner together or maybe he had a date. Beomgyu was sure that he had done something fun. He was never the one anyone had to encourage to go out and socialize.

“It’s important to talk to people,” Yeonjun said. “You can’t just close yourself off to the rest of the world. Try and make a new friend this summer.”

“I’ll try,” Beomgyu said.

“You don’t sound very enthusiastic.”

“That’s because I’m not.”

Beomgyu heard another sigh from the other line and he had never wanted to end a conversation so badly in his life. They used to be so close. There were nights when they stayed up talking for hours. They spent time together playing in the museum or exploring the forest or going on late night bike rides. Yeonjun wasn’t just his brother, he was his best friend, but now they had never felt further apart. The distance between them wasn’t only physical either. Beomgyu couldn’t remember the last time they had a real, substantial conversation about anything.

“I just want you to have some good high school memories, you know?” Yeonjun said. “I know you don’t have that many positive memories of middle school, but I wanted high school to be different for you. You graduate in February. You don’t have much time left to make memories.”

“I don’t need a lecture, hyung,” Beomgyu said. “You don’t have to worry about me either. I’ve made friends in high school. People are nice to me at school. It’s already an improvement from middle school.”

“I’m not trying to lecture you,” he said. “And I know you’ve made friends and that high school has been okay. I just can’t help but worry about you. You’re my little brother. It’s my job to look out for you.”

“I know,” Beomgyu said. “It’s getting late. I still need to take a shower and look over my summer homework. Thanks for calling.”

“It’s not that late,” Yeonjun said. “You can’t talk for a bit longer?”

“No, I really can’t,” Beomgyu said. “Goodnight, hyung.”

He ended the call before Yeonjun could say anything else. Beomgyu stared at his phone and waited to see if Yeonjun would call him back or send him a text, finishing their conversation. His phone didn’t get any notifications though, so he dropped it onto the mattress next to him. Beomgyu fell back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. There was a long crack running from one side of the room to the other. He had told his father about it, but he always insisted that it wasn’t anything to worry about. The house was simply “settling.” Beomgyu thought that the house was just falling apart.

His mind went back to Yeonjun’s words. It wasn’t like he was actively trying to have a depressing social life during his last year of high school. When he was in middle school he used to dream about summer breaks spent with a big group of friends. In his mind they would all go swimming together and buy ice cream cones from the convenience store and take day trips to the next town over just to see what another place was like. Beomgyu wouldn’t be the most popular one in the group. He wouldn’t be the center of attention, but he would be the friend they all relied on. His fantasy world consisted of funny, carefree friends and, if he really let himself fantasize, a boyfriend who adored him.

None of that would ever happen though. Everyone in their small town already knew him. Taehyun and Kai were the only ones who genuinely wanted to be his friend. He appreciated that Yeonjun wanted the best for him, but Beomgyu didn’t think that any of Yeonjun’s wishes for him would come true this summer.

★彡

The museum didn’t have any air conditioning. Beomgyu stood at the reception desk at the front entrance, resting his head on top of his folded arms. An old fan was on top of the desk. It creaked as it rotated and all it did was blow hot air at him. It was better than having it turned off though, so he kept it on. The museum had two visitors that day. They were an elderly couple who Beomgyu’s mother did laundry and went grocery shopping for. Once a week they would stop by to pay the admission fee, walk around the museum for ten minutes, and then leave. They had been doing it for as long as Beomgyu could remember. The couple had probably indirectly paid for his backpack and school supplies.

He was counting down the minutes till closing time even though he didn’t know why. What waited for him at home was a large stack of study books and yet another awkward dinner with his parents. Staying in the stuffy museum with nothing to do was almost preferable. He closed his eyes, letting the warm air from the fan sweep over his face with every squeaky turn it took.

His moment of relaxation didn’t last for long though. There was a loud thump on the reception desk, startling him. Beomgyu’s head shot up and his eyes opened to meet the golden eyes of a gray cat. They stared at each other for what felt like a full minute, neither one of them speaking, until Beomgyu finally spoke up.

“Are you here to buy an admission ticket?” he asked.

“Do I look like I have money?” she said, her tail waving back and forth. She sat on the desk, blocking the breeze from the fan. “I’m bored.”

“That makes two of us,” Beomgyu said. “I’m about to close for the day. Do you have anywhere else you can go?”

Her fur looked clean and she was a healthy size, so Beomgyu assumed she was an outdoor cat who lived nearby. He reached forward, scratching behind one of her ears and making her purr.

“Not anymore,” she said. “I lived with a family not too far from here. They started to bore me though.”

“You left your family because they’re boring?”

“They weren’t my family,” she said. “They were my providers. I gave them company in return for food and a place to sleep. I stayed in the teenage daughter’s room. We used to have such long conversations, but lately she hasn’t been able to understand me. So, I left.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Beomgyu said.

“You don’t need to apologize,” she said. “It happens.” She lifted one of her paws to her mouth, examined it for a moment, and then began to lick, cleaning herself. “I’m looking for a new place now. You can understand me just fine.”

“Are you asking me to adopt you?”

“Of course not,” she said. “Adoption is too permanent. Just let me stay with you for a while.”

“All right,” Beomgyu said. “My brother said I needed to make new friends this summer anyway.”

He knew that befriending a cat wasn’t exactly what Yeonjun had in mind when he urged him to meet new people, but it was a start.

“I’m glad we’ve come to such a quick agreement,” she said. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Beomgyu. What about you?”

“My last provider called me Mimi,” she said. “Can you come up with something better?”

Feeling put on the spot, Beomgyu tried to think of a cute name for a cat. He had never wanted to adopt one before, so it wasn’t like he had a name already in his mind. Beomgyu closed his eyes and decided to choose the first name that came to him.

“Yuseong?” Beomgyu said. “It’s a pretty name. It means ‘meteor.’”

“Are you naming me after a rock from space or the old woman who’s the basis of this museum?”

“You don’t like the name?”

“Of course I like it,” she said. “It’s very nice.”

Even though Beomgyu knew Mun Yuseong’s life story by heart, he had never felt a real connection to her. He spent his childhood in the museum, looking at the pretty hanbok she wore and the ornaments she put in her hair. Beomgyu had read her diaries from start to finish. He knew her favorite breakfast and how she felt about her mother and that she never came to truly love the man who became her husband. Knowing everything about her still wasn’t enough for him to care about her.

Maybe he could come to care for the little gray cat instead.

His phone started to play an electronic jingle. It was the alarm he had set to remind himself of when it was time to close the museum. Beomgyu turned off the alarm and opened up the cash register to see that there was only money from the old couple. It wasn’t anything worth stealing, and locking up such a small amount of money in the safe seemed both comical and sad. Beomgyu did his duty anyway. He wrote down the number of visitors in the logbook and then opened up the safe under the desk to put the money inside.

“Are we going back to your home now?” Yuseong asked, following him outside. “Is it time for dinner?”

“Usually I would go home around this time, but…” Beomgyu said. He stopped talking as he locked the door to the museum and then ran a chain through the door handles and secured a padlock around it. “I don’t want to go home right now. There’s a convenience store nearby. I can buy you some dried squid.”

“I suppose that’ll do for now,” Yuseong said. “I expect full meals in the future though.”

The convenience store that was close to the museum was the only convenience store they had in town. It had been there ever since he was a kid and it was one of the only businesses that got updated regularly. He remembered going to it after school with Yeonjun to eat ramyeon for dinner instead of whatever their parents cooked. Last summer he had tried every single ice cream flavor they had with Taehyun and Kai.

He stepped inside and was instantly hit with a blast of cold air from the air conditioner. Yuseong followed him down one of the snack aisles, her head moving from side to side as she took everything in.

“Have you been here before?” Beomgyu asked, taking a packet of dried squid from a shelf.

“Once,” she said, “a long time ago.”

“What’s a long time for a cat?”

“Longer than it is for you, probably,” she said. “Are we sharing the squid?”

“No,” he said. “You can have it all for yourself. I’m going to get ice cream.”

Beomgyu went to the other side of the store where there was a large chest freezer. He slid the glass door open and reached inside without looking. This was what he did with Taehyun and Kai last summer when they tried all the flavors. None of them were allowed to look at what they were grabbing. He pulled out the first ice cream he touched and was pleased to see that it was a cone with chocolate ice cream that was dipped in even more chocolate. It had been one of his favorites last year.

When he got to the checkout counter, Yuseong jumped on top of it and watched as he handed over the snacks to the cashier. Beomgyu recognized him as someone who had been a third year at his high school during his first year. He was easy to pick out of a crowd because of his height. Beomgyu always liked seeing his dimples whenever he smiled.

“₩4500 is your total,” he said. Beomgyu glanced at his name tag. Soobin. That was right. His name was Soobin. “Do you want a bag?”

“No, I don’t need one,” Beomgyu said.

He reached into his pocket and took out of the crumpled up bills he had stuffed in there before leaving the house. Beomgyu counted out 4500 won before smoothing the wrinkles out on the countertop and handing them to Soobin. Yuseong nudged his arm with her head and he scratched behind her ears again, getting her to purr once more.

“Your cat’s really cute,” Soobin said. “What’s their name?”

“Yuseong,” Beomgyu said. “I just got her today.”

“That’s nice,” Soobin said.

“Yeah.”

It appeared that neither of them knew how to partake in small talk. Beomgyu wouldn’t have even tried to talk to him if he hadn’t asked about Yuseong. He wondered if trying to continue the conversation would be rude. Or would leaving without another word be even ruder?

“It’s summer break for school, huh?” Soobin asked.

“Today’s the first day,” Beomgyu said. “Are you not attending a university?”

“Not yet,” he said. “And, well, I might never go to one. I’m still undecided.”

“How come?” Beomgyu asked. “I can’t wait to get out of this town when I graduate. My brother is in Seoul. We might get an apartment together.”

Sharing an apartment with Yeonjun after he graduated was a plan that Beomgyu had been thinking of for a while, but had never told anyone about. He hoped that Yeonjun would think it was a good idea whenever Beomgyu worked up the nerve to tell him about it.

“That sounds cool,” Soobin said. “You’re Yeonjun’s younger brother, right? He’s my sunbae.”

“Yeah, he’s my brother,” he said. “I’m Beomgyu.”

“Soobin.”

“I know,” Beomgyu said. “It’s on your nametag.”

Soobin looked down at his chest, looking at the plastic pin with his name printed on it like he had forgotten it was there. Yuseong started to paw at the package of dried squid on the counter, saving them from continuing their stunted conversation.

“She seems hungry,” Soobin said. “You should probably feed her soon. Oh, and you don’t want your ice cream to melt.”

“Right, that wouldn’t be good,” Beomgyu said. He opened up the ice cream and winced when he saw that it was partly melted and sticking to the inside of the wrapper. “I’m going to eat this outside. Um, good luck with your job.”

He grabbed the squid from the counter and left the store before Soobin could say anything else. There was a small table set up outside so he sat down. The air felt thick and humid since the relief from the air conditioning was gone.

“You wished him good luck with his job?” Yuseong said, jumping up onto the table. “That’s the best you could do? A ‘see you later’ would have been better.”

“I could just eat this dried squid by myself,” Beomgyu said. “I’m the one who bought it after all.”

“I take back when I said,” Yuseong said. “You’re fantastic with your words.”

Beomgyu opened the package of squid for her. He ate his ice cream as quickly as he could and tried to keep it in the wrapper so that it didn’t drip down his hand. Once they were finished with their snacks, Beomgyu scooped Yuseong up in his arms and headed back home. The store was close to the museum and the museum was close to his house. Everything was close in their town. The only reason he biked to school was because he liked to sleep in as late as possible, so biking instead of walking saved him a few minutes of precious sleep.

When he arrived home his parents were sitting in front of the television, watching a loud variety show. He stood behind them for a few minutes, watching his parents more than he watched the show. They didn’t laugh at any of the jokes or make comments to each other.

“I’m home,” Beomgyu said. “I already ate, so I don’t need dinner.”

“How was the museum?” his father asked. He didn’t even turn around in his chair to look at him. “Did we have any new visitors in the afternoon?”

“No,” Beomgyu said. “Not today.”

“Do you think you could start closing every day for me?” he asked. “I’ll give you weekends off and add ₩5000 to your allowance. A friend of mine is starting a carpentry business and he’s asked me to help out, so I can’t spend too much time at the museum anymore.”

“I can do that,” Beomgyu said. He didn’t want to help out at the museum, but it wasn’t like he had a choice. “I’m going to study and then go to bed, so I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

He didn’t know if either of them turned around to wish him goodnight because he was already heading to his room. Once he was inside he placed Yuseong on his bed and closed the door.

“They didn’t even notice me,” she said.

“I’m sure they will eventually,” Beomgyu said.

In reality, he wouldn’t be at all surprised if they never noticed he had brought a cat home.

★彡

Beomgyu had lost count of how many times he had read over the same calculus problem. He knew how to solve it, but he had no motivation to start writing the first step. The old fan in the museum seemed to be ever louder today. It was messing with his focus. That was the excuse he made for himself anyway. Yuseong had fallen asleep an hour ago. He couldn’t blame her. Beomgyu was bored too.

It had been a week since he had been put in charge of the museum. His father asking him to close the business had turned into him making Beomgyu open it as well. He showed up every morning at 8am and left at 5pm. His father had kept his word about not making him work weekends though, so he was grateful for that.

The most exciting visitors they had all week was a group of elementary school kids who were in the same summer program. Their teacher walked them around the exhibit, reading each plague and explaining the life of Mun Yuseong in detail. All of the kids seemed more interested in Yuseong the cat. She had become somewhat of an unofficial mascot for their museum.

He decided to give up on calculus and move on to physics instead. That was a mistake though. Beomgyu took one look at the problems his teacher had suggested and closed the book. He opened up his English workbook just as the bell attached to the front door chimed.

“Hey,” Soobin said. He didn’t walk toward the desk. Instead he stood awkwardly in front of the door with his hands in his pockets.

“Hi,” Beomgyu said. “Admission is ₩8000.”

“Got it,” Soobin said, finally approaching him. He took money from his wallet and handed it to Beomgyu. “I have the day off.”

“Lucky,” Beomgyu said. “I get the weekends off.”

“I think that makes you the lucky one,” Soobin said. “I have to work the nightshift during the weekends. No one ever shows up and I’m there by myself. I think the breakroom is haunted.”

“If any place in this town is haunted, it’s this museum,” he said. “I would hate to be here at night.”

Beomgyu handed Soobin his change and an information pamphlet before gesturing to the door leading to the exhibit. Soobin walked a few steps toward it before turning around.

“Do you want to be my guide?” Soobin asked. “I’ll probably get more out of it if you explain everything to me.”

“I have to watch the front desk.”

“I’m sure Yuseong can watch it for you for a little while.”

He glanced at Yuseong who was still fast asleep and curled up into a little ball. Beomgyu supposed the front desk would survive without him. He needed to take a break from studying anyway.

“Have you been here before?” Beomgyu asked as they walked into the exhibit.

“No,” Soobin said. “My mom and I moved to this town when I was a second year in high school, so I haven’t lived here that long. Everyone I went to school with told me that trips to the museum happened in elementary or middle school.”

“It is a hot spot for school trips,” Beomgyu said. “I think every kid in town has been here at least twice.”

“So,” Soobin said, stopping in front of one of the paintings of Mun Yuseong, “who was she?”

“A wife of a wealthy nobleman,” Beomgyu said. “This town was where they went during the summer for vacation. She loved it so much that she left all of her belongings to the owner of her favorite inn, one of my ancestors.”

“Sounds like she liked the inn owner, not the town.”

“That’s what I think too,” Beomgyu said. “I asked my grandfather if she was in love with him, but he told me to never ask that question again.”

“So, she definitely had an affair with the inn owner?”

“Definitely.”

They both laughed and Beomgyu was surprised by how easy this was. He always had his guard up around strangers, but talking to Soobin was starting to feel natural. It was nice talking to someone who only knew him as Yeonjun’s little brother. Other than that he was a complete stranger to Soobin.

“What was so special about this town that made her like it so much?” Soobin asked. “Or was it just the inn owner?”

“I’m not too sure,” Beomgyu said. “In her journals she described this place as ‘magical.’ I don’t know what she thought was so magical about it. I’ve lived here my entire life and all I want to do is leave.”

“Maybe she just thought it was charming since she was from a big city,” Soobin said.

He stopped in front of one of the hanbok displays. It was the one that was in the best condition. The colors were still vibrant and none of the edges were frayed or worn out.

“Do you think this town is charming?” Beomgyu asked. “You graduated a while ago. Why haven’t you left yet?”

“Is this your way of telling me to leave town?”

“Well, if that’s how you want to interpret it,” Beomgyu said with a shrug. Soobin looked alarmed, like he didn’t know Beomgyu was joking. “I’m kidding. You can stay as long as you want. I’m just wondering why you’re still here.”

“I guess I wanted to relax after high school,” Soobin said. “I’m not good at studying and I never really wanted to go to university. I wanted to work and take my time figuring everything out. I won’t be here for much longer though.”

“Is your family moving again?”

“No,” Soobin said. “I’m enlisting at the end of the summer. I want to get my military service over with.”

“Oh.”

Suddenly he was filled with a sense of overwhelming disappointment. Beomgyu had only spoken to Soobin twice and he was already getting attached. He felt almost stupid for feeling so open around him so quickly.

“I just want to enjoy my last month here,” Soobin said. “All the friends I made in school have moved away to go to university or enlist. I’m the only one who stayed behind, so I want to at least have fun while I’m still here. It’s nice to make good memories.”

“That’s a good outlook to have,” Beomgyu said. He looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall, noting that it was close to 5 o’clock. “I’m closing soon. You can come back tomorrow if you’re not done looking around. I won’t charge you.”

“That’s okay,” Soobin said. “I’m done. I would like to come back tomorrow though, to see you. I’d also like to walk you home.”

Beomgyu turned around so that Soobin wouldn’t be able to look at his face. It was already hot in the museum, but he could feel his cheeks becoming hotter. He was certain that his skin was flushed and he probably looked as flustered as he felt. Beomgyu had never been that good at hiding what he was feeling.

“I didn’t think you would be so… forward,” Beomgyu said. When they were in school together, Soobin always seemed to be the quietest one in his group of friends. Apparently Beomgyu hadn’t observed him closely enough if this was how he really was. “You’re very direct.”

“I’m usually not,” Soobin said. “I meant what I said. I want to make some good memories here before I leave.”

“And you think I could help with that?” he asked.

“Yeah, I think you could,” Soobin said. “I understand if you don’t want to though. I saw the stack of books you have on the desk out front. If you’re too busy with studying, then I can just leave you alone.”

“Don’t,” Beomgyu said almost too quickly. “I mean, you don’t have to leave. I can study while I work or before bed or… later. I can study later.” He turned around to face Soobin even though he was almost positive that his skin was still red. “I’d like to actually have fun this summer, too. So, you can come back tomorrow and as many days as you want. And you can also walk me home. I don’t mind. I’d actually really like that, I think.”

“You think or you know?”

“Well, I can’t possibly know since you haven’t done it yet, have you?”

Soobin laughed, seemingly delighted by Beomgyu’s sass. He had a nice laugh and Beomgyu was relieved that he wasn’t put off by him. Hiding who he really was never did him any good.

They left the exhibit and Beomgyu went through the regular routine of closing up. He grabbed his textbooks and supplies and shoved them all into his backpack without much care. Yuseong woke up as he was moving around. She was still sleepy from her nap, so he took her into his arms and carried her outside. Soobin locked the doors for him as he rocked Yuseong back and forth.

“I can carry her,” Soobin said.

“She’s not heavy,” Beomgyu said.

“Then I’ll carry your backpack for you,” Soobin said. “That has to be heavy.”

“I can manage it.”

“I want to carry it for you.”

“Why?”

“Because I feel like I’m bothering you,” Soobin said. “Let me do something for you.”

“You’re not bothering me,” Beomgyu said.

He still allowed Soobin to take his backpack from him and pull the straps up on his own shoulders. Soobin was dressed sensibly in a white t-shirt and a pair of shorts. The weather was hot and humid and it made sense to wear light clothing. Beomgyu was focusing less on the functionality of Soobin’s clothes though. Not only was he tall, but his shoulders were broad as well. The white t-shirt only seemed to make that more obvious.

“Do you live nearby?” Soobin asked as they walked.

“About a ten minute walk away,” Beomgyu said. “It’s not far.”

“That’s good.”

The flow that their conversation once had had already disappeared. This was why it was so difficult for Beomgyu to make new friends. Talking was the only way to truly get to know someone, but if there wasn’t an obvious topic in front of him, he never knew what to say. It seemed that Soobin had a similar way of thinking since he was looking around like he was trying to find something to talk about.

“Have you ever been to the forest?” Soobin asked. “In my third year of high school my friends wanted to camp there for a night, but I was too scared. I left before the sun went down.”

“I’ve been there in the day, but never overnight,” Beomgyu said. “I like it. It’s peaceful. My brother and I used to play there a lot when we were kids. I’m too old for it now.”

“How can you be too old for a forest?”

“I don’t know,” Beomgyu said. “I just feel like I am. The only thing we did was make believe and I’m past the age of playing pretend.”

“If you’re too old for it, then I suppose that makes me ancient,” Soobin said. “What year were you born?”

“2001,” Beomgyu said, feeling self-conscious. He didn’t like talking about why he was a year behind in school.

“I’m only a year older than you,” Soobin said. “I was born in December of 2000.”

“Wait,” Beomgyu said, coming to a stop. “I was born in March. You’re only three months older than me.”

“How old did you think I was?” Soobin asked.

“I don’t know,” Beomgyu said. “At least a full year older than me. When I graduate you’ll already have been out of high school for two years.”

“Okay?” Soobin said. “Why is that important? If anything, it’s nice to be so close in age. Hanging out with you feels even more natural now.”

“Hanging out with me feels natural?”

“Sure it does,” Soobin said with a shrug.

He was so bizarre. Beomgyu had never met anyone like Soobin. He seemed so carefree and happy and weightless. It was like nothing in the world was weighing him down. Beomgyu wanted to know how he was so easygoing. Maybe he could give him some tips.

“Well, I haven’t decided if I like hanging out with you yet,” Beomgyu said. “I think we’ll have to spend more time together before I can make my decision.”

“Works for me,” Soobin said.

★彡

For the next week, Soobin showed up at the museum around closing time so that he could walk Beomgyu home. It was the weirdest relationship he had ever had with someone. Beomgyu didn’t know what to make of Soobin. He wasn’t sure what his true motives were. Was he lonely and in need of a friend? Did he think that Beomgyu of all people would bring excitement to his life before he enlisted? There was another possibility as well. This possibility was one that Beomgyu didn’t like to think about because all it did was get his hopes up. He couldn’t help but let the thought pass through his mind though. Was Soobin interested in dating him?

As far as Beomgyu knew, he was the only openly gay kid in their town. He was sure there were others who were closeted, it didn’t make any sense for there to not be more gay kids, but he was the only one he knew of. Beomgyu had no memory of any other kids coming out and he would definitely know if it had happened. They lived in a small town. News travelled fast. Beomgyu had learned that the hard way.

He told himself over and over again that he was reading too much into Soobin’s actions. Carrying his backpack and opening doors for him wasn’t romantic. Paying for his snacks from the convenience store was something friends did. Pushing his hair behind his ear for no reason was… was… Beomgyu didn’t have a reason for that one. It wasn’t like Beomgyu knew what he was doing as he overanalyzed Soobin’s actions. He had never had a boyfriend before; he didn’t know what signs to look for.

“I’m so happy I don’t have to work today,” Beomgyu said. “Summer break should be all about relaxing.”

“You still have plenty of studying to do,” Yuseong said.

Beomgyu was lying on his bed with Yuseong on his stomach, pushing her paws into his chest again and again. Even though she liked to act with class, she couldn’t stop her basic cat instincts.

“I’ve been studying all week,” he said. “I deserve a break.”

“You should call Soobin then,” she said. “I’m sure you two could have fun together.”

“I don’t want to bother him.”

“You don’t want to bother him or you don’t want to see him?”

“What are you trying to imply?” he asked.

Yuseong didn’t answer him right away. He stroked a hand down her back as she tilted her head to the side, like she was trying to find the least offensive answer.

“Being around him clearly scares you,” she said. “I think you’re being a coward.”

Or she was looking for the most offensive way to answer him.

“I’m not a coward,” Beomgyu said. “Nothing about Soobin scares me either.”

That was a lie and they both knew it. Beomgyu couldn’t help but get freaked out whenever he started getting close to a new person. He had no idea how much they knew about him and his past. When he became friends with Taehyun and Kai, he had had panic attacks. Eventually he told them the truth and they were accepting and he didn’t have to worry anymore. He never expected to go through that again. All future plans he had for making friends involved living in a big city and going to a big school where no one knew who he was.

The only other person he had told about his past since then was Yuseong. And it wasn’t even because she was a cat. Beomgyu felt connected to her. She was almost like an extension of himself. He could tell her anything.

“You should just tell him the truth,” Yuseong said. “Do that or end your contact with him now. Either he accepts you and you can stop worrying, or you won’t have to ever know what his reaction would be.”

“I know,” Beomgyu said. “That makes sense, but… but it’s hard for me.”

“Just because something is hard, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.”

“I hate it when you’re right.”

“You must always hate me then.”

He poked her side and she bit his finger. They had such a good dynamic.

Yuseong got off of him, letting him move from his bed to his desk so that he could get some work done. He had originally planned to leave all of his homework until the last week of break, but he had quickly changed his mind. If he got this over with he would have more free time. And more free time meant seeing Soobin more often.

Just as he finished taking notes on a chapter in his history textbook, his phone started to vibrate. His heart leapt in his chest and he took a few deep breaths to calm himself. Doing that was useless though because the person calling him was Taehyun, not Soobin.

“How’s your vacation going, traitor?” Beomgyu said after answering the call.

“I’m having a great time,” Taehyun said. “How’s solitude?”

“Terrible,” Beomgyu said. “My dad has me working extra hours at the museum.”

“That’s not too bad,” Taehyun said. “It’s not like you’ll have a lot of customers to deal with.”

“That’s too mean, Hyunie!” Kai said, his voice sounding faraway like he was at the other side of the room.

“He’s not being mean,” Beomgyu said. “Besides, it’s the truth. I don’t want to talk about it though. Tell me about the beach. Let me imagine for a bit.”

“Well, there’s sand,” Taehyun said. “The ocean is very big.”

“You’re a terrible friend. I’m hanging up.”

“Wait, hyung, don’t go!” Kai shouted.

Beomgyu pressed his lips together so he could stop himself from laughing. He already knew that he missed them, but now that feeling was even stronger. Talking to them was both a blessing and a curse. He got to hear their voices and connect with them, but as soon as he hung up he knew he would be reminded of how lonely he was.

“How’s self-study going?” Beomgyu asked.

“It’s going very well,” Taehyun said just as Kai said, “It’s killing me.”

“I’m somewhere in between that,” Beomgyu said.

“That’s why we need you,” Kai said. “You’re the one who balances us out.”

Beomgyu smiled and placed a hand over his heart, feeling genuinely touched. Sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder why they were friends with him. The two of them had been perfectly happy before he, albeit reluctantly, worked his way into their lives. Hearing Kai blurt out something so honest reminded him that he didn’t need to question his friendship with them. They were friends. They all loved and cared for each other. He didn’t need to keep worrying about it.

They talked on the phone for nearly an hour, ruining Beomgyu’s studying mindset, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He missed them. Taehyun talked about the local restaurants and how Kai’s older sister was a terrible driver and that it rained on them one day as soon as they got to the beach. Kai wanted him to know about the birds who tried to steal their snacks and how Taehyun got knocked down by a strong wave and that he was going to die before he finished all of their summer homework.

“What about you?” Taehyun asked after Kai finished telling a story about an old woman who had given him a dirty look in the grocery store. “What have you been up to? Besides studying and working at the museum.”

“Uh, well, not much,” Beomgyu said. “I adopted a cat. Kind of.”

“What breed of cat?” Kai asked. “Send us pictures!”

“I don’t know anything about cat breeds,” Beomgyu said. “She has short gray fur and yellow eyes.”

“How can you ‘kind of’ adopt a cat?” Taehyun asked.

“She’s just living with me for now,” Beomgyu said. “She came to the museum and I decided to take her in.”

Yuseong jumped up onto his desk and rubbed her face against his arm. He interpreted it as her way of showing gratitude.

“Well, I’m happy you’re not spending summer break alone,” Taehyun said.

“Yeah, I’m not because, um…” Beomgyu took a deep breath. He knew they were going to make a big deal about Soobin. It was best to tell them quickly and get their dramatics over with. “Do you remember Choi Soobin? He was a third year during our first year of high school. The really tall guy? We’ve, uh, been hanging out.”

“Does that mean you’re dating?” Kai asked.

Beomgyu didn’t know why he was startled by the question. Kai had never been one for subtlety.

“No, we’re not dating,” Beomgyu said. “I don’t even know if he likes guys. Not that that’s important, obviously. We’re just friends. I don’t like him.”

“You definitely like him,” Taehyun said. “You wouldn’t be telling us about him if you didn’t.”

“It’s okay, hyung,” Kai said. “You can tell us all about how dreamy his eyes are. We’ll listen.”

“I hate both of you so much,” Beomgyu said. “I want new friends.”

“Too bad,” Taehyun said. “You’re stuck with us forever.”

That didn’t sound like a bad thing at all. They asked more questions about Soobin and he slowly opened up to them. He told them about their awkward first conversation and how Soobin had stopped by the museum to walk him home and how he had continued to walk him home from work every day after that. Beomgyu told them that even though it was his day off, he almost missed working because he looked forward to their short walks together.

“It’s so confusing though,” Beomgyu said. “I know he likes me as a friend. He wouldn’t want to spend time with me if he didn’t. But he’s been giving me confusing signals. I don’t know if he _likes me_ likes me.”

“You could always just ask him,” Taehyun said. “He said he was enlisting at the end of summer, right? If he rejects you, then you won’t have to worry about seeing him again. And then you won’t be left with any unasked questions.”

“You’re so practical,” Beomgyu said. “I wish I could be more like you. I don’t have the nerve to be so straightforward.”

“Summer break is too short to waste time wondering,” Taehyun said. “Be upfront with him.”

“Sometimes I forget that you’re younger than me.”

“I never forget that I’m younger than him,” Kai said, making them all laugh.

★彡

Beomgyu didn’t have to work the next day either, but instead of studying, he left the house in the morning after eating breakfast. He remembered Soobin telling him that he worked nightshifts on the weekends, so he knew he wouldn’t be at the convenience store. It didn’t seem likely that he would stop by the museum either since Beomgyu wouldn’t be there. He didn’t know where Soobin’s family lived, but it wouldn’t take much asking around town until he got his answer.

As he walked through his neighborhood, he ran into several people out on morning walks or tending to their lawns. He asked everyone he came across if they knew where Choi Soobin’s family lived. The fifth person he asked, an old woman with a large brimmed hat to shield her from the sun as she gardened, pointed him in the right direction.

It didn’t take him long to walk to Soobin’s home, but once he stood in front of it he found that he was lacking the confidence to knock on the door. If Yuseong were with him she would have encouraged him to take action, but she had still been sleeping when he left. He stared at the door, hoping that it would open and someone would have to ask him what he was doing. Being forced to talk always worked better for him than working up the nerve to make the first move.

Suddenly, the door opened as if someone had heard his thoughts. He instantly regretted wishing someone came to him first. Beomgyu turned around, making his back face the front of the house.

“Beomgyu?”

Turning around didn’t seem to have been as effective as he had hoped.

“Yes?” he said, looking over his shoulder.

Soobin was already dressed and looking ready for the day. Beomgyu remembered him mentioning that he wasn’t a morning person, so he was surprised to see him so put together.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. “How do you know where I live?”

“Who said I was here to see you?” Beomgyu asked. Soobin raised one of his eyebrows. “Okay, fine, I’m here for you. I asked around the neighborhood until someone told me where you lived.”

“Wow, I didn’t know that making a new friend would give me a stalker as well,” Soobin said.

“I’m not a stalker,” Beomgyu said.

“I know,” Soobin said. “But you didn’t deny we were friends either.” He walked down the steps from his house, stopping right in front of Beomgyu who glared up at him. “I’m going to the store to buy a few things for my mom. Do you want to come?”

“You’re not going to ask why I came to see you?”

“I can ask later,” Soobin said. “Come on.”

They walked together through the sloping streets of the neighborhood until they reached the grocery store in town. It was a Sunday morning, so most of the customers were senior citizens, walking slowly up and down the aisles and carefully comparing prices. Soobin pulled a crumpled up piece of paper from his pocket.

“We need eggs,” he said. “And sesame oil. And tangerines. And dish soap. This is a weird list.”

“Most grocery lists are weird,” Beomgyu said.

As they made their way through the store, they didn’t talk much. Beomgyu was still tired despite being awake for an hour now. He had stayed up late finishing an English assignment and then talked to Yuseong for a while after that as well. For some reason his body had decided to wake him up early though. His mind was full of thoughts of going to Soobin and asking him what Taehyun told him to ask. Did he simply want a friend for the summer or was this something more? Beomgyu didn’t think he would be able to be at peace until he knew the answer.

Soobin paid for the groceries and didn’t let Beomgyu carry any of the bags as they walked back to his house.

“You won’t even let me hold the bag with the eggs?” he asked. “That one is so light.”

“They’re my groceries, not yours,” Soobin said. “I should carry them.”

“You carry my backpack for me all the time.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Your backpack is heavy,” Soobin said. “I’m helping you out by doing that. The eggs aren’t heavy, so you won’t be helping much.”

“Then let me carry the tangerines.”

“Nope.”

He was so annoying. Soobin was so frustrating and smug and tall and handsome and Beomgyu couldn’t stop thinking about kissing him. This was becoming a problem.

“I don’t have to go to work until the evening,” Soobin said. “Do you want to hang out until then or do you have other plans?”

“What other plans could I possibly have?”

“I don’t know,” Soobin said. “I just thought I would ask to be polite.”

“I don’t have any other plans,” Beomgyu said. “And, yeah, I’d like to hang out with you until you have to work.”

“What do you want to do?”

“Let me think about it.”

They stopped by Soobin’s house where he dropped the groceries off with his mother. She was surprisingly short compared to her son and had a head of thick, curly hair. Soobin quickly introduced them and then grabbed Beomgyu’s wrist, dragging him away from the house.

“We didn’t have to leave so quickly,” Beomgyu said. “I could have stayed to talk to your mom.”

“She would have made you breakfast and showed you old photo albums and then invite you to stay for lunch,” Soobin said.

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Beomgyu said.

“It sounds bad to me,” Soobin said. “You came to my house to spend time with me, not my mother. Unless, I think that’s why you came to see me.”

“Is this your way of asking why I went looking for your house at 8 in the morning?”

“Yeah, it is.”

Everything cheery and bright about Soobin seemed to melt away as they came to a stop. He looked nervous, like he was dreading what Beomgyu was about to say. That only made him more anxious to ask his question. Beomgyu wanted to talk himself out of asking, but he decided to stay firm and ask anyway. He had only known Soobin for a little over a week. It wasn’t like he had something to lose.

“Have you been flirting with me?” Beomgyu asked. “I could be reading it wrong, but you give me compliments and you walk me home and now that I’m saying that I realize how stupid I sound. You were just being nice to me. I shouldn’t assume that–”

“I like you a lot,” Soobin said. “Sorry, you weren’t done talking.”

“No, I was done,” Beomgyu said. “I was definitely done. Were you going to say something else?”

“Yeah, uh, I think you’re great,” Soobin said. “I know we don’t know each other well and I’m leaving soon so it’s probably pointless, but I like you.”

“I don’t think it’s pointless,” Beomgyu said, looking down at his feet. Butterflies were fluttering around in his stomach and he felt suddenly weightless. “It doesn’t matter how long it lasts, right? All that matters is that it happened.”

“I like that,” Soobin said. He took one of Beomgyu’s hands in his. “That’s a nice way of putting it.”

Beomgyu didn’t know what to say anymore. He hadn’t expected this to go so well. Soobin probably felt the same urgency that he did too. Summer break would be over soon and neither one of them knew when they would see each other again. Wasting time was pointless.

“I think I know what I want to do today,” Beomgyu said.

“And what’s that?”

“Let’s do what you talked about before,” Beomgyu said. “Let’s go explore the forest.”

★彡

It had been years since Beomgyu had last walked through the forest that surrounded their town. He used to play with Yeonjun every week there when they were kids. As he walked with Soobin, he couldn’t find any major differences. It was exactly like how he remembered. The trees were tall and skinny, light filtered through the leaves and created strange patterns on the ground. There weren’t many animals around since they were still close to town. The grass got taller the further they walked.

“It’s so quiet,” Soobin said. “The last time I was here I was with my friends and we were all talking. I couldn’t appreciate how peaceful this place was.”

“Well, it’s not like there’s anyone around,” Beomgyu said. “It’s just us and squirrels. Maybe some deer. Nothing too exciting.”

“So we’re not going to run into a bear?”

“I hate to disappoint you, but no, we aren’t going to see any bears.”

“I was joking.”

“I know you were.”

Soobin took his hand in his, lacing their fingers together as they walked. Beomgyu hoped he wouldn’t notice how sweaty his palms were. It was hot outside, but he was also nervous, making a perfect combination for clammy hands. He didn’t expect Soobin to want to label their relationship. Beomgyu didn’t want to call him his “boyfriend” since what they had wasn’t going to last long. Still, he was with someone who he liked and who, for some reason, also liked him. Being nervous was the only logical emotion to have in their situation.

As they walked, the tall grass seemed to move aside for them, silently asking to not be stepped on. A pair of birds who had been chirping at each other stopped to watch them pass by. Beomgyu always felt like he was being observed in the forest. Even when he was a kid and playing with his brother it was like all of the animals stopped and stared. Sometimes he even saw bark patterns on trees that looked like faces.

Strangely enough, the feeling of being watched didn’t disturb him. It made him feel less alone.

“What are your plans after graduation?” Soobin asked.

“I want to go to school in Seoul,” Beomgyu said.

“What are you going to study?”

“Music, probably,” Beomgyu said. “I play classical guitar.”

“Classical guitar?” Soobin said. “I’ve heard of classical piano. Is it similar?”

“Um, kind of?” Beomgyu said. “They’re both European. A lot of guitar pieces are from Spain though.”

“I’m surprised you don’t go to a music academy if you’re so serious about making it your major.”

He hated when a conversation took a turn like this. Beomgyu was going to tell him about his favorite songs and why he started playing guitar in the first place. Now Soobin had brought up going to an academy and it wasn’t like he could just ignore the comment.

“I wanted to go to one,” Beomgyu said. “Scholarships are hard to get though and my family can’t afford to send me to an academy.”

“That sucks,” Soobin said. “Are you applying for scholarships at universities?”

“Yeah, I’ve already started,” Beomgyu said. “I probably won’t make it into a prestigious school, but I’m hoping one of the smaller ones will give me a chance.”

“I think any school that turns you down is run by idiots.”

Beomgyu couldn’t stop himself from laughing. Soobin looked so serious. His chin was jutting out and he squared his shoulders, like he was ready to intimidate every member of every schoolboard.

“You haven’t even heard me play,” Beomgyu said. “I could be terrible.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“You’re supposed to say that there’s no way I’m terrible. I’m the best guitarist in the world.”

“Well, how can I say that if I’ve never heard you play?” Soobin asked. “You were right to point that out.”

“I think it’s time for you to stop talking.”

Soobin let go of his hand so that he could wrap his long arms around Beomgyu’s shoulders and pull him against his chest. He was so warm and he smelled like laundry detergent. Beomgyu was already feeling lightheaded and he had only been in Soobin’s embrace for a few seconds.

“You like talking to me though,” Soobin said.

“I used to, but now I’ve changed my mind.”

“Yeah?” Soobin said, pressing his forehead against Beomgyu’s. “I should just stay quiet for the rest of the day?”

“That’d be preferable to hearing you talk.”

The tips of their noses brushed and they were looking into each other’s eyes and Beomgyu was suddenly feeling braver. He refused to look away and let Soobin see how he affected him.

“You don’t really mean that,” Soobin said.

“No, I suppose I don’t,” Beomgyu said. “You don’t have to be quiet, but you do say some stupid stuff.”

“I can live with that.”

Soobin pulled away, his smile as bright as it always was. He took Beomgyu’s hand in his once more and they continued their walk. Beomgyu didn’t know how Soobin could be so unaffected by everything. He felt like he was going to fall apart at the simplest touch, but Soobin was unwavering. It made him wonder if he was the one whose feelings were the strongest out of the two of them.

“What about you?” Beomgyu asked. “What do you plan on doing after you’ve finished your military service?”

“I don’t know yet,” Soobin said. “I might move back here. I want to get a better job than working at the convenience store though. Or I could move to another town. Or Seoul. I don’t know.”

“What do you want to do for work?” Beomgyu asked.

“I have no idea,” Soobin said. “My teachers in high school were always so frustrated with me. All of my classmates had their entire lives planned out, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I still don’t.”

“That sounds stressful,” Beomgyu said. “I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have a plan. I’d probably pull my hair out.”

“You shouldn’t do that,” Soobin said. “You wouldn’t be cute without any hair.”

“Out of the two of us, you’re the one who should be worrying about whether or not you look good without hair,” Beomgyu said. “You’ll be getting a buzz cut soon.”

They stopped walking and Soobin looking up at the sky, like he was trying to see what the future version of himself looked like without hair. He must have pictured something satisfactory because his smile only widened.

“I think I’ll look good,” he said. “I’m very handsome. Shaving my head won’t change that.”

“I’m going back home,” Beomgyu said. “You’ve annoyed me enough for today.”

He turned around and starting walking back the way they came. The tall grass once again parted for him, making a path. Soobin’s laugh was loud and bright as he followed him.

★彡

Beomgyu’s summer felt like it had been saved. He wasn’t counting down the days until school started again. Now he was dreading the day Soobin had chosen to enlist. It was two days before the second semester started, so Beomgyu figured he would have two days to wallow in sadness before he had to go back to school. He wasn’t trying to think about that too much though. There was still plenty of time until then.

Each day, Soobin would show up at the museum around closing time. He had managed to change his schedule at the convenience store so that he worked the same hours as Beomgyu. When they were both off work they could spend all of their time together. Initially, Beomgyu thought that it would be too much too soon, but he also realized that they were on a different schedule than others. Their time together was limited and neither one of them wanted to waste a single second.

There weren’t many fun things to do in town. Everything that could be deemed as “exciting” costed money, like seeing a movie or going to noraebang. Beomgyu was trying to save the measly weekly allowance he got from his parents, so he didn’t want to do anything that required money. Soobin offered to pay for him when they bought lunch at a small café, but he had turned him down. He felt guilty, making Soobin feel like he had to spend money on him.

The only activity that was free was exploring the forest. Beomgyu thought that it would just be a onetime thing, but they had gone back almost every day after their first visit. The first time they went, Beomgyu thought that nothing had changed since his childhood. Now, every time he visited with Soobin, he seemed to notice something different about the forest. On their last hike they had come across a pond Beomgyu had never seen before. The water had been so blue that it didn’t look real. He had half-jokingly proposed that they go swimming next time and Soobin had agreed.

“I’m not the best swimmer,” Soobin said as they walked through the convenience store. “I only learned recently. I’ve been putting it off for so long, but my mom finally convinced me to have lessons. She didn’t want me to enlist before learning how to swim.”

“Is this your way of telling me that you might drown on me?” Beomgyu asked.

A small group of people entered the convenience store, but Soobin didn’t pay them any attention since he had just clocked out. They were only staying in the store to get snacks and sunscreen.

“I won’t drown,” Soobin said. “You don’t have to worry about me.” He picked up a packet of chips. “Do you want honey butter chips?”

“Sure.”

“Pepero?”

“That, too.”

“Sausages?”

“Yes, please.”

“Choco pies?”

“Of course.”

“You’re going to say yes to everything I suggest, aren’t you?” Soobin said.

“Maybe I will,” Beomgyu said. “Keep saying different snacks. I might say no to one of them eventually.”

Instead of looking annoyed, Soobin seemed to be completely endeared. He leaned down and kissed the top of Beomgyu’s head.

“You’re so cute,” he said.

Beomgyu leaned into him, pressing up against Soobin’s side as he added more snacks to his basket. He wasn’t going to let Soobin pay for everything, but he didn’t bring that up now. When they got to the register, then they could argue about it.

“I can’t believe my parents made me come back home for a week,” a familiar voice said. The tone was low and annoyed and it made Beomgyu’s heart start pounding in his chest. “Just because I have time off from school doesn’t mean I want to hang around this town.”

“I get what you mean,” another person said. “I’ve been working at my family’s restaurant all summer. I’d be making more money working for a nicer restaurant close to my school doing the same work.”

“It’s such a waste of our summer vacation,” he said. “I can’t believe… Shit.”

They stopped talking. Their voices had been clear enough that Beomgyu knew they had walked into the same aisle as him and Soobin, even though his back was turned to them. Soobin looked up at them, frowned and then glanced at Beomgyu.

“Are you okay?” Soobin asked. He pressed the back of his hand against Beomgyu’s forehead. “You’re really pale. Do you feel sick?”

“I’m fine,” Beomgyu said.

“You’re not fine,” one of the guys in the group said. “We all know how sick you are.”

“We should go,” Beomgyu said. “Let’s buy this stuff and leave.”

He grabbed Soobin’s arm and tried to walk away, but Soobin wouldn’t budge. Instead of looking at Beomgyu, he was now looking at the guys who were talking to them.

“What’s your problem?” he asked. “Beomgyu hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“As far as you know,” the first one said, snorting. “What are you, his boyfriend or something?”

“Yeah, I am,” Soobin said. “If you have a problem with him, then you have a problem with me.”

Beomgyu couldn’t even be happy about Soobin calling him his boyfriend because his heart felt like it was going to jump into his throat and choke him. He tugged on Soobin’s arm once more. Soobin might look intimidating to some people because of his height, but Beomgyu knew he was too soft to ever survive in any sort of fight.

“If you’re his boyfriend, then you must know what kind of freak he is,” one of them said. “Or has he not told you?”

“Please, hyung, let’s just go,” Beomgyu said.

He never called Soobin “hyung,” but he was desperate to get out of there. Soobin finally took his eyes off of the group to look at him instead. Beomgyu must have looked truly anxious because Soobin’s expression quickly softened. He wrapped an arm around him and walked them toward the register where Soobin’s coworker quickly checked them out. Beomgyu didn’t even waste time insisting that he paid for half of the snacks.

As they walked toward the door, the group had moved to the front of the store. They didn’t stop them like Beomgyu feared that they would, but they did watch as they walked out. Once they were far enough away, Soobin stopped walking.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” Beomgyu said. “I don’t want to talk about it. Can we just go swimming like we planned?”

Soobin didn’t respond right away. He studied Beomgyu’s face like he was trying to see through him to make sure that Beomgyu was really okay. After a few moments he sighed and nodded.

“Let’s go,” he said. “I won’t bring it up again.”

“Thank you.”

Things didn’t go back to normal right away. The walk through the forest was painfully awkward. Beomgyu didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to linger on what had happened and bring it up again. But he also didn’t think that making lighthearted comments would make things better either.

They had stumbled upon the pond the first time they found it. It had been hiding behind a thick row of tall bushes and shrubs. They had pushed past them to find the pond. Beomgyu had dipped his foot in last time and was surprised to find that the water was cool despite the hot summer weather. It was the exact same today as it was yesterday. Beomgyu didn’t know why he was surprised to find it unchanged. Part of him thought that they wouldn’t be able to find it again.

“Are you sure you won’t drown?” Beomgyu asked as Soobin placed their things on the ground. “I’ve never been a lifeguard, so I’m not sure I would even be able to save you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Soobin said. “No need to worry about me.”

“If you say so.”

Beomgyu was already wearing his swimming trunks as his shorts, so all he had to do was take his shoes and socks off. He had brought a change of clothes and a towel in his backpack, so he was planning on changing behind a tree when they left.

“You’re keeping your shirt on?” Soobin asked.

“Well, yeah,” Beomgyu said. “Why not – oh.”

Soobin apparently didn’t have the same thoughts of modesty as Beomgyu did. He had already taken off his shirt and Beomgyu couldn’t find the willpower to look away. Soobin was lean and nicely toned. It didn’t look like he worked out excessively like some of the boys at his school who were obsessed with fitness did. He just looked healthy and attractive. Very attractive.

“For someone who eats so much, you’re in surprisingly good shape,” Beomgyu said.

“You always do that,” Soobin said with a grin.

“Do what?”

“Make a joke when you’re out of your element.”

Beomgyu didn’t know if he liked that Soobin had picked up on one of his habits so easily. He knew when this started that he would get too close.

They got into the water together, ducking their head under to completely submerge themselves before coming back up for air. The water wasn’t that deep. Beomgyu knew it would get deeper in the center, but they both seemed content to stay closer to the edge. They swam together, splashing each other with water and floating up to the surface to look at the sky. The water was just as cool as it was yesterday.

Soobin wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him to his chest. Beomgyu didn’t know what to do with his hands. He kept them at his sides before giving in and resting them on Soobin’s bare shoulders.

“I’m really happy I met you,” Soobin said. “I think this might be the best summer I’ve ever had.”

“How can you say that?” Beomgyu asked. “It isn’t even over yet. Something bad could happen.”

“Nothing bad is going to happen,” Soobin said. “Whenever I think about this summer, I know I’ll be happy, because I’ll be thinking about you too.”

He leaned forward and Beomgyu knew that he was going to kiss him. It was something he had been dreaming of for weeks, but Beomgyu couldn’t let it happen. His mind went back to the group at the convenience store and how Soobin probably had so many questions. He didn’t want Soobin to keep thinking about it and making assumptions. Beomgyu would have to tell him.

“Let’s get out,” Beomgyu said, turning his head just in time for Soobin to kiss his cheek instead of his lips. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“All right.”

They got out of the pond and Beomgyu grabbed his towel from his backpack and wrapped it around himself. He stood awkwardly in the grass, looking at his feet and trying to think of the best way to tell Soobin what he needed to say. It was better to tell him now in case they ran into those guys from the convenience store again.

“What’s going on?” Soobin asked, taking his hand and squeezing it.

“I went to middle school with them,” Beomgyu said. “The guys from the store. We used to be friends. One of them was even my best friend. I realized I was gay when I was in middle school. I told him, because I thought I could trust him, but he told the rest of the group and they told the entire school. Kids told their parents and news travels fast around here. My parents knew by the next day.”

“I’m so sorry,” Soobin said. “No one should ever have to go through something like that. I hate that someone betrayed your trust.”

“Yeah, that was…” Beomgyu trailed off. He could end things there. There was no reason for him to tell Soobin the rest of the story. Obviously Soobin didn’t have any issues with him being gay. What really scared Beomgyu was telling him the whole truth.

“That’s not all, is it?” Soobin said.

“No,” Beomgyu said. He squeezed his eyes shut. The quicker he said it, the sooner it would be over. “Telling people I was gay wasn’t enough for them. My best friend he… he saw how close I was with my brother and he also told people that I… that I was in love with my brother. My parents heard about that too and so did Yeonjun-hyung.”

Soobin didn’t say anything at first. He wasn’t quick to speak like he was when Beomgyu told him that his friends had outed him. Tears started to sting at his eyes.

“It’s not true,” Beomgyu said. “I love my brother but not like _that_. They were just making it up to make fun of me more, but it got back to my parents and… and things haven’t been the same with them anymore. I’ve told them a million times that it’s not true. I’m gay, but I’m not… They always told me that they believe me, but I can’t help but feel that they do think that I’m–”

“It’s okay,” Soobin said, taking him into his arms. “It’s okay. Calm down, Gyu. I’ve got you.”

For some reason those words only made him cry harder. Beomgyu clung to him, no longer feeling shy that Soobin wasn’t wearing a shirt. He was so relieved. Every time he told someone the story he had to hold his breath, waiting for their reaction. It was terrifying.

“I’m going to take you home, okay?” Soobin said. “Ever since we saw those guys you’ve been tense. You should go home and rest.”

“I don’t want to go home,” Beomgyu said. “I want to stay here with you, for a little bit longer.”

“Okay,” Soobin said, giving in easily. “If that’s what you need, then that’s what we’ll do.”

They took their time holding each other. Neither one was in any rush to be anywhere else. Eventually they pulled away to dry off and change into their spare clothes. Beomgyu sat on the grass with Soobin’s arm around him, holding him close.

“So, now you know why I had to repeat a grade,” Beomgyu said. “I refused to leave the house after the rumors started. I couldn’t pass my exams or complete my assignments, so I had to start over next year.”

“You don’t deserve that,” Soobin said. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Beomgyu said. “It took me a long time to realize that though.”

Soobin kissed the top of his head and Beomgyu sighed, sinking into his embrace even more. He felt so safe when he was with Soobin. Beomgyu didn’t feel invincible, but he felt protected and cared for. It was a feeling that he loved more than anything.

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that. Beomgyu wasn’t keeping track of the time and he was sure that Soobin wasn’t either. It was like time had stopped around them. The world seemed to have been paused just so they could have a quiet moment together without any worries.

It had to come to an end eventually though. The sun was starting to set. Soobin squeezed his shoulder and gave him a tight-lipped smile and he knew it was time to go. They gathered their things and then made their way back home. The thicket of bushes that hid the pond parted for them, almost like they knew that Beomgyu wasn’t in the best of moods and that forcing his way through the thick wall of bushes wouldn’t make him feel better. Soobin didn’t let go of his hand until they were at the edge of the forest.

“Thank you for telling me,” he said. “I know it wasn’t easy for you, but I’m glad you opened up to me.”

“You should return the favor then,” Beomgyu said. “Tell me your coming out story whenever you’re ready.”

“I could tell you now then,” Soobin said. “I told my mom when I was fifteen. I told my friends at our high school graduation and none of them were surprised, or cared. That’s really all there is to tell.”

“You’re lucky.”

“Yeah, I guess I am,” Soobin said. “Do you want to go home? We can still waste time walking around town. I don’t mind.”

“That’s okay,” Beomgyu said. “I’m ready to go home.”

“Before I walk you back, there’s something I want to do, if that’s all right,” Soobin said.

“It depends on what you want to do.”

Beomgyu didn’t know what to expect, but Soobin cupping his face in his hands and bringing him in for a kiss made perfect sense. It was short and sweet and over much too soon. Beomgyu remedied that by putting his hands on Soobin’s shoulders and pulling him in for another kiss. It was his first time kissing someone, but he wasn’t nervous and it didn’t feel awkward. Moving his mouth against Soobin’s as they stood at the edge of the forest felt perfect.

“Was that okay?” Soobin asked, his hands on Beomgyu’s waist and their lips still brushing together.

“More than okay.”

They kissed again and Beomgyu found that kissing Soobin was an effective way to not feel the passing of time.

★彡

When Beomgyu got home, his skin was warm from being in the sun and his feet were tired from walking and his heart had never felt fuller. He collapsed face first onto his bed. Beomgyu didn’t think his smile would ever fade.

“You seem to be in a good mood,” Yuseong said. She was sitting on top of his desk, next to his pile of unfinished homework. “What did you do today?”

“We went swimming,” Beomgyu said. “He kissed me.”

“That sounds nice.”

“It was nice,” he said. “It was perfect. Well, the kissing was.” He shut his eyes, enjoying the feeling of the cool pillow case against his cheek. “I told him everything, Yuseong. He knows everything and he doesn’t care.”

“Good,” Yuseong said. “You should only spend your time with people who accept you.”

“I know.”

He felt like he was about to doze off. There were still a million things for him to do though. He had to eat dinner and take a shower and work his way through his fine arts assignments. Beomgyu didn’t want to move though. Being in the sun all day had made him tired and his bed felt more comfortable than it ever had before.

His phone started to buzz and he groaned, pushing his face into his pillow. He didn’t know who was calling him, but he was too tired to lift his arm to grab his phone and see.

“You should get that,” Yuseong said. “It could be important.”

She was right. Beomgyu reached behind himself without looking, patting different spots on the bed until he touched his phone. He lifted his head up to see that Yeonjun was the one calling him.

“I was about to fall asleep,” he said.

“It’s 9 o’clock,” Yeonjun said.

“I’m tired,” Beomgyu said. “I had a long day.”

“Really?” Yeonjun asked. “What did you do?”

Beomgyu had fallen into a trap. He was so tired that his brain hadn’t stopped him from telling Yeonjun that he had a long day. Usually he wouldn’t have said something like that because it invited Yeonjun to ask him to elaborate.

“I worked at the museum,” Beomgyu said. “Then I went to the convenience store with a friend and we went swimming in the forest and I just got home. So, I’m tired.”

“Which friend?” Yeonjun asked. “And why didn’t you go to the public pool? The _forest_? Any water in there had to be gross.”

“You ask so many questions, hyung.”

“That’s because you’re my baby brother and I want to know what you’ve been doing lately.”

That was fair. Beomgyu rolled over onto his back so that he could look up at the ceiling. Yuseong took this as a sign to sit on his chest.

“There’s a pond in the forest that’s really nice,” Beomgyu said. “The water is so blue that it doesn’t even look real.”

“And which friend did you go with?” Yeonjun repeated.

“Choi Soobin,” Beomgyu said. “We’ve been hanging out these past few weeks.”

“Soobin?” Yeonjun said. “The really tall guy who was in the year below me?”

“Yeah, that’s him.” Yeonjun didn’t say anything right away, so Beomgyu talked some more. “I like him a lot, hyung. I told him everything that happened to me in middle school and he doesn’t care. Well, I mean, he _cares_ because he cares about me, but he didn’t judge me. He was so sweet and understanding and… and I’m so happy right now, hyung.”

There was still silence from the other line. For a second, Beomgyu thought that he had been hung up on, but the call was still ongoing when he checked. He thought over his words, trying to think of what he said that was wrong.

“Good,” Yeonjun said, finally. “I’m glad. I’m relieved, actually.”

“You are?”

“Of course I am,” Yeonjun said. “All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy and if he makes you happy, then good.”

Beomgyu asked him a few questions about his day and what he had been up to. Yeonjun’s friends were planning a beach trip, so he had gone shopping that day for a new pair of sunglasses and a beach towel. He told Beomgyu that he missed him and he easily returned the sentiment. Talking on the phone was nice, but it could never replace being with someone in person.

“I planned on coming back home in a couple of weeks, but I guess I don’t have to now,” Yeonjun said. “I wanted to watch the meteor shower with you since I thought you wouldn’t have anyone to go with you. Eomma and Appa have never been interested in things like that, so I thought you would be alone.”

“I forgot all about that,” Beomgyu said. “You can still come to watch it with me.”

“I’ll come the day after,” Yeonjun said. “Watching a meteor shower sounds romantic. I don’t want to intrude. Besides, it would be pretty lame of me to third wheel on my little brother’s date.”

“That does sound lame,” Beomgyu agreed. He didn’t even flinch at Yeonjun referring to it as a date. “But you really mean it? You’re coming back home the day after?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” he said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve visited. I want to see Eomma and Appa, and of course intimidate your boyfriend. I’ll write a lecture on the train ride there.”

“Go easy on him,” Beomgyu said. “He’s sensitive.”

He didn’t tell Yeonjun that what he had with Soobin wasn’t made to last. The meteor shower was set to happen toward the end of summer break and soon after that Soobin would be gone. His summer romance would be over and Beomgyu would be forced back into reality.

★彡

Yuseong ran ahead of them in the forest. She jumped up onto a rock and swatted her paw at a butterfly that was just out of her reach. It seemed to be toying with her, getting close and then flying away as soon as she tried to hit it. Soobin crouched down on the ground next to her and took out his phone, snapping a few photos of her.

“She’s so lively,” Soobin said. He showed Beomgyu the pictures he had taken and he couldn’t help but laugh at one where her tongue was sticking out like she was concentrating. “I’m glad she isn’t running away. If I brought my dog out here without a leash we would have already lost him.”

“Yuseong is very aware of her surroundings,” Beomgyu said.

He had taken Yuseong to work with him that day so when Soobin came to pick him up, she had insisted on joining them in the forest. Yuseong had come with them a few times before, but each time she would complain about it when they got home. Beomgyu imagined this time wouldn’t be any different.

“Where do you want to watch the meteor shower?” Soobin asked. “It’s coming up soon. A lot of people are going to watch it on the big hill behind the high school.”

“I don’t really want to watch it with other people,” Beomgyu said. “I don’t like crowds.”

“I was hoping you would say that,” Soobin said. “How about we hike to the highest spot in the forest?”

“How are we supposed to know what the highest spot is?”

“We find a hill and keep walking up it until we reach the top, then we look around and see if there are any taller hills and we’ll hike those instead.”

Beomgyu laughed, amused by the simplicity of Soobin’s plan. Nothing had to be complicated in his eyes. He could look for simple solutions to everything. Soobin was so easygoing that Beomgyu couldn’t understand how their personalities didn’t clash more.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Beomgyu said.

It didn’t take them long to come across an upward slope on their path. They made it halfway up before Beomgyu had to carry Yuseong the rest of the way since she had been falling behind. She nuzzled against his chest, purring happily at being carried. Soobin had taken Beomgyu’s backpack when they left the museum, so she was the only thing Beomgyu had to carry.

A few days ago he had brought his guitar with him to the forest and had played some songs for Soobin. After he finished each one, Soobin had burst into applause and gave him compliments. He kept saying that he was lucky to be the only audience member of Beomgyu’s solo concert. It had been cute, seeing him get so excited. He could tell that Soobin genuinely enjoyed his playing as well.

They continued up the hill until they reached the top. Trees still covered most of their view of the sky, so it wasn’t an ideal spot to watch the meteor shower. Soobin looked around, blocking a few rays of sun with his hand to help him see clearly.

“There’s another hill,” he said, pointing toward it. “Let’s try that one.”

“We’re really going to spend all day climbing up hills, aren’t we?” Beomgyu said. “My legs are going to hurt so much.”

“I could carry you back.”

“Oh, please,” Beomgyu said. “You’re going to be complaining just as much as me.”

“Okay, that’s fair.”

The next hill they climbed was much steeper than the last one. Beomgyu almost lost his footing a few times. He had to look at the ground as he walked, to make sure he didn’t trip over a root or step onto uneven ground. Eventually, the slope became less steep and he was able to look ahead of him. The view in front of him was taken up completely by Soobin’s back. He was wearing what Beomgyu had come to call his unofficial summer uniform, a white t-shirt and a pair of black shorts. Beomgyu liked to try out more colors and patterns, but Soobin seemed content to stick with the basics.

“Wow,” Soobin said. He increased his pace, jogging up the rest of the hill until he reached the top. Once there he turned around, smiling brightly at Beomgyu and gesturing for him to join him. “It’s perfect.”

Beomgyu followed at his own pace, choosing not to rush. Yuseong was still in his arms and he didn’t want to jostle her too much by rushing ahead. When he finally made it to the top, standing right next to Soobin, he could easily see what was so perfect about the spot. It was a little island right in the middle of the forest. He turned around in a circle, seeing nothing but the tops of trees. The grass there was tall and colored with wildflowers. They had a clear view of the sky, so the view of the meteor shower wouldn’t be obstructed.

“There’s only one problem,” Beomgyu said. “How are we going to find this place again?”

“I can see our exact coordinates in the compass app on my phone,” Soobin said, taking his phone out of his pocket. “If we know the coordinates, I’m sure we can find this place again.”

“Look at you, being smart,” Beomgyu said. “As expected of a high school graduate.”

“I’m going to ignore that,” Soobin said as he typed the coordinates into his phone. “Because I know you’re just trying to tease me to make yourself laugh.”

“You know me too well.”

“Yeah, I really do.”

Soobin cupped Beomgyu’s face with one of his hands, running his thumb over his cheekbone. Beomgyu closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. He wasn’t able to enjoy it for long though because a drop of water landed right on one of his closed eyes. Another one soon hit his forehead.

“I didn’t think it was supposed to rain today,” Beomgyu said, opening his eyes and looking up at the sky.

The sun was still bright and there weren’t any clouds in sight. He almost thought that he had imagined the rain when another drop hit him, and then another, and another. Each raindrop came down faster than the last.

“We should get back under some trees,” Soobin said.

Beomgyu followed Soobin back down the hill. He was watching the ground again as he walked, so he ran right into Soobin when he suddenly stopped. The rain was really coming down now. It was starting to soak through his shirt and he couldn’t do much to keep Yuseong dry.

“Why’d you stop?” Beomgyu asked.

“Was that there before?”

He looked to where Soobin was pointing to see a small shack among the trees. Beomgyu had no idea why it was in the middle of the forest. He definitely hadn’t seen it on their way up the hill, but he had been too focused on trying not to fall rather than looking at the area around them.

“It must have been,” Beomgyu said. “Buildings don’t appear out of thin air. We should go inside.”

“Wouldn’t that be trespassing?”

“I don’t think anyone lives there,” Beomgyu said. “It’s probably abandoned. Let’s go.”

Beomgyu pushed lightly on Soobin’s back, urging him to start moving again. They walked down the hill and to the shack that was perfectly positioned in the middle of a ring of trees. Light from the sun was hitting it directly like the spotlight. It was literally a glowing beacon of refuge.

Soobin opened the door to the shack easily, so it hadn’t been locked. They stepped inside and Beomgyu had to open and close his eyes a few times to take in what he was seeing. He thought that the inside would be like a rundown shed, but instead it looked like a cottage. There was a short row of cabinets and a sink in one corner of the room and a bed and an armchair on the other side. There was another door and Beomgyu opened it to see a tiny room with a toilet.

“We’re definitely trespassing,” Soobin said.

He didn’t seem too bothered though since he had no problem opening one of the cabinets. Inside were a set of bowls, plates, and cups. He grabbed a bowl and opened up Beomgyu’s backpack to get one of their water bottles. Soobin filled the bowl and placed it on the ground so that Yuseong could drink.

“I have a handkerchief in there too,” Beomgyu said. “We should dry her off.”

“This place isn’t even dusty,” Soobin said after finding the handkerchief. “It’s just old. Who do you think lives here?”

“I don’t think anyone lives here,” Beomgyu said. He turned the sink’s faucet on, but no water came out. “There isn’t any food or sheets on the bed. I don’t see any personal items. I think this is a rest stop.”

“A rest stop?”

“Yeah, for hikers,” Beomgyu said. “They’re built in forests and big parks. It’s just a spot for people to rest or, like us, get shelter from the rain.”

“Well, I’m happy we found it,” Soobin said. “We were in the right place at the right time, I guess.”

Beomgyu sat down in the armchair with Yuseong on his lap, holding her steady as Soobin dried her off with the handkerchief. She complained the entire time and after they were done she jumped off his lap and gave Beomgyu a dirty look.

“You’re bleeding,” Soobin said.

“What?” Beomgyu said. “Where?”

Soobin took his calf in his hand, extending his leg slightly so that Beomgyu could look down at his knee. It was scraped and raw; a thin stream of blood ran down from it.

“I didn’t even notice,” Beomgyu said. “It must be from a bush or a branch or something.”

“I’ll clean it for you,” Soobin said. “I saw a first aid kit when I was looking around.”

Beomgyu waited on the chair while Soobin rifled through the cabinets. He reached down and gently touched the scrape, wincing at how it started to sting. It was strange how a small cut didn’t start hurting until it was noticed. Soobin knelt down in front of him again, this time with an outdated first aid kit on his lap. He opened it up, taking out a bandage and a tube of ointment. There weren’t any applicators in the kit, so Soobin had to apply it with the tip of his finger.

He lifted up the bottom of his shirt and held it against Beomgyu’s leg to somewhat clean it. His shirt was soaked from the rain, so the fabric felt a little rough. Beomgyu didn’t complain though. As Soobin started to apply ointment to the scrape, Beomgyu looked at his shirt, noticing the tiny specks of blood against the white cotton. Soobin took the paper strips off the back of the bandage and then put it on Beomgyu’s knee. All of his movements were slow and careful and the kiss that he placed over the bandage was no exception.

“Are you kissing it to make it better?” Beomgyu asked.

“It doesn’t hurt to try,” he said, giving his knee another peck.

Soobin rested his head on Beomgyu’s lap, his hand still holding onto his calf. Beomgyu ran his hand through his wet hair. With every day, they got even closer. Each touch exchanged between them felt more and more intimate.

“You don’t have a change of clothes in your bag, do you?” Soobin asked.

“No,” Beomgyu said. “I have snacks, but no clothes. That’s okay though. I’m sure the rain will stop soon and we can go home.”

“I don’t know about that,” Soobin said.

There was one window in the cottage. Outside the sun had finally disappeared and the sky matched the pouring rain. It was dark and stormy and the rain seemed to get louder by the minute.

“Rain like this never lasts for long,” Beomgyu said. “It’ll calm down soon.”

Even he didn’t believe what he was saying. The rain didn’t show any signs of stopping. Soobin stood up and pulled his shirt over his head. His hands grabbed the waistband of his shorts just as Beomgyu turned his head away.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“My clothes will dry faster if they’re not on me,” Soobin said. “Besides, it’s not good to stay in wet clothes for long. You could catch a cold.”

“Are you trying to get me naked?”

“Yes,” Soobin said. “I’m also concerned for your health.”

“You are – You are just–” Beomgyu looked at him again and found that he felt quite shameless, looking at Soobin wearing nothing but his boxers. “Impossible.”

“You’re the impossible one,” Soobin said. “I won’t even look at you. We can sit with our backs to each other until our clothes dry or it stops raining.”

“Fine,” Beomgyu said.

Beomgyu ended up sitting on the bed while Soobin had turned the armchair around to face the other side of the room. It was warm in the cottage so he wasn’t shivering despite only being in his underwear. Yuseong had curled up on the counter next to the sink. Beomgyu thought she was so comfortable sleeping there because of all the times she had fallen asleep on the front desk at the museum.

“You might hit me for saying this, but I really want to look at you,” Soobin said.

“You’re right,” Beomgyu said. “I do want to hit you for saying that.”

“I thought we agreed to not waste any time this summer,” Soobin said. “We’re not going to hesitate or shy away from things that make us embarrassed. I want to be honest with you. I want to touch you, Beomgyu.”

“Oh.”

He couldn’t think of anything else to say. Of course he agreed with Soobin. Beomgyu knew he could trust him. He didn’t think he would regret going further with Soobin and being truly intimate with him. It was still a scary thought though. What if Soobin didn’t like the way he looked? What if he thought he was too skinny? What if Beomgyu did something wrong and embarrassed himself?

“Just turn me down if you don’t want to,” Soobin said. “I never want to make you feel like you have to do anything.”

“You’ve never made me feel like that,” Beomgyu said, pulling his legs up to his chest and hugging them. He looked at the bandage on his knee that had been so gingerly placed there. “I want to be with you like that, too.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

Soobin stood up and turned around to look at him. He suddenly felt so small, being watched so closely. Soobin walked forward and Beomgyu tightened his told around his legs even more.

“Let me see you,” Soobin said, sitting down on the bed next to him.

Beomgyu didn’t move at first. He was worried that he was too thin. His body wasn’t as nice as Soobin’s. It didn’t seem like that mattered to Soobin though. He curled his hand around Beomgyu’s wrist and tugged on it gently, silently asking him to show himself.

“You’re beautiful,” Soobin said once he moved his legs away from his chest.

The words made Beomgyu’s entire body feel like it was filled with warmth. He looked down at his hands in his lap.

“I never thought you would be this bold,” Beomgyu said.

“I never thought you would be this timid.”

That was fair. He had no problem teasing Soobin and making fun of him, but when it came to something like this, he was too aware of himself to be confident.

Soobin moved forward and held onto Beomgyu’s hips before slotting their mouths together. This was easy. This wasn’t scary. This was something he could do. He wrapped him arms around Soobin’s shoulders and let himself be kissed. Beomgyu let Soobin press his tongue into his mouth, rubbing against his own and making him moan.

Their kisses were hot and familiar and Beomgyu felt himself growing hard in his underwear. He moved his hips forward, trying to find some friction but they were too far apart. Soobin’s hands gripped him tighter.

“I want to lie down,” Beomgyu said as Soobin kissed down his neck, his hands leaving his hips to graze the top of his ass.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, please.”

All of his fear and hesitation left him as Soobin settled between his legs on the small, old bed. Beomgyu could feel Soobin’s cock against his own through their boxers. It was hard and when they rubbed together, he couldn’t help but gasp against Soobin’s mouth.

“I’ve thought about this a lot,” Soobin said. His face was pressed against the side of Beomgyu’s neck and he was grateful for it. Beomgyu had a feeling that seeing him would be almost too much for him. “Probably too much.”

“You’ve thought about touching someone like this?” Beomgyu asked. “Or you’ve thought about me?”

“Both,” Soobin said. “But lately it’s only been you. You’re all I think about.”

He reached down and hooked his fingers in the band of Beomgyu’s underwear before pulling them down his legs. Soobin did the same with his own and soon they were completely naked together.

“What exactly have you thought about?” Beomgyu asked. His voice sounded thin and shaky as Soobin started to rut down against him.

“You really want to know?”

“Yes,” Beomgyu said. He started to work his hips with Soobin. His mouth fell open on a loud moan at the feeling of their cocks rubbing together. “ _Oh_ , please tell–”

Soobin held onto him tighter. His teeth scraped the side of Beomgyu’s neck, making his cock twitch and leak at the sensation.

“I want to be inside of you,” Soobin said. “I want to take care of you like that.”

Beomgyu didn’t expect a hot current to travel down his spine. It was something he had thought of too, but just the thought of it scared him. The act seemed like such a big step and there were a million ways it could go wrong and–

“Later,” Soobin said, as if he sensed Beomgyu’s distress. “We can talk about that later. Just focus on us right now.”

It was easy for Beomgyu to let his mind do that. He clung to Soobin, focusing on the weight of his body and his lips against his skin and the heat of his cock. Pleasure was mounting inside of him, pooling in the pit of his stomach until he couldn’t hold it back any longer. Beomgyu came, his legs shaking as he did. It was sudden and intense and the sensation from it was enough to make him dizzy.

Soobin worked one of his arms between Beomgyu and the mattress, holding on to him tightly as he kissed a trail up his neck. Beomgyu felt as Soobin shook in his arms as he reached his own climax. He ran a hand through Soobin’s hair and absentmindedly wondered if it was wet from the rain or from sweat. It was probably a combination of both.

“Are you okay?” Soobin asked after a minute of them coming down from their highs. “Was that good for you?”

“Yeah,” Beomgyu said. “It was. It really was.”

“Sorry it was over so fast–”

“Don’t apologize for that,” he said. “It was fine. It was perfect.”

For some reason he wanted to thank Soobin, but he didn’t think that would be an appropriate thing to say. Instead he settled for wrapping his arms around Soobin’s back, keeping him in place so that he wouldn’t move. Beomgyu wanted this moment to last for just a little while longer.

It wasn’t at all how he imagined his first time would be. Truthfully, Beomgyu had never planned out what he wanted for his first time. He wished for the basic things: that it felt good, that he was with someone he liked, and that he didn’t embarrass himself. Beomgyu had gotten all three, so he was happy.

Eventually he let go of Soobin, allowing him to roll off of him. There wasn’t enough room on the bed for them to both lie on their backs, so Soobin rested on his side instead. He kissed Beomgyu’s cheek and intertwined their fingers. It was like he couldn’t stop touching Beomgyu, even if he kept the touches small.

“Was it good for you, too?” Beomgyu asked. His voice sounded off, even to his own ears.

“Yeah,” Soobin said, kissing his shoulder. “I’m glad we did that.”

“Me too.”

He rolled over on to his side so that he was facing Soobin. Beomgyu reached out, stroking his cheek with his thumb.

“Sorry if I said a little too much in the middle of it,” Soobin said. “I got caught up in the moment. If I made you uncomfortable, talking about, uh, actually, you know, going all the way with–”

“You wanting to fuck me doesn’t make me uncomfortable.”

“Oh. Good,” Soobin said. “Nice. Cool.”

“I can’t believe you’re being so awkward about this,” Beomgyu said. “You’re the one who’s been making all the first moves.”

“I have many different sides to me.”

“I know,” Beomgyu said. “I’m starting to figure that out.”

They kissed again and Beomgyu couldn’t let his mind think of anything else. He was warm and content and wanted nothing more than to stay in Soobin’s arms forever.

★彡

When Beomgyu woke up, it was the next morning. The sun was just barely coming up through the single window in the cabin. They had spent the night talking and eating through their snack supply and then having another round of sex. He pressed his lips together, thinking of how shameless he had been, sitting on Soobin’s lap and rubbing himself against his thigh until he came. At the time he didn’t care how he looked, but thinking back on it, he couldn’t help but be embarrassed.

They were lying in bed together, Soobin with his back to the cottage wall and his chest against Beomgyu’s back. When they went to bed, his arm around Beomgyu’s stomach had been held tight, but it was a looser hold now that he was asleep.

Beomgyu lifted his arm off of him and got out of bed. He changed into his clothes (that were now completely dry) and looked around the tiny cottage. The door was cracked open and Yuseong was nowhere to be seen. He stepped outside to see her sitting in the grass, taking in the early morning.

“Hi,” Beomgyu said, sitting next to her. “Did you sleep well?”

“You dare to ask me that question?” she said. “It’s a very small space. I heard a lot of things I never wanted to hear.”

“I’m sorry,” Beomgyu said. “We got caught up in the moment.”

“I’m aware,” she said. “I know what happened. I was there.”

“I thought you were asleep.”

“Clearly I wasn’t.”

He picked her up and placed her on his lap before rubbing his face against her fur. Yuseong meowed loudly, like she was in great distress because of his snuggles.

“It’ll never happen again, I promise,” Beomgyu said. “I’ll control myself.”

“You better,” she said. “I should have known that choosing a teenage boy for my next owner was a terrible idea.”

“I’m not a boy,” Beomgyu said. “I might still be in high school, but I’m a legal adult.”

“You’re still a teenager though.”

Beomgyu didn’t say anything else to argue with her. She stayed put on his lap as they watched the light from the sun get brighter and brighter. The forest was so quiet. Even the rustling of tree leaves sounded muffled. He felt so at peace.

When they went back inside, Soobin was still asleep on the bed. Yuseong hissed at him and then jumped into the armchair.

“Don’t be mad at him,” Beomgyu said. “We’re both at fault.”

She hissed at Beomgyu as well.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked down at Soobin. In slumber he looked so young. His lips were slightly parted and his hair was a mess and his face was soft and relaxed. Beomgyu lied back down next to him, this time facing Soobin.

The longer he watched him, the stronger he felt that he didn’t want Soobin to leave him. He knew this would happen. They had started this relationship knowing that it wouldn’t last past the summer. Beomgyu knew that and he had still fallen hard. He felt so stupid, knowing that in less than two weeks, he would have to say goodbye to him.

They would keep in touch. Beomgyu would text him every day and Soobin would call him back whenever he had free time at the military base. He might even write Soobin a few letters and send them to him through the mail. It wouldn’t last for long though. Beomgyu would get busy, preparing for his final exams and applying to universities. Even if they managed to make it work, Beomgyu would have to enlist one day and they would go through the same thing all over again.

Beomgyu was going to lose him and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. He felt so helpless.

“Hey,” Soobin said, his voice thick from sleep. He slowly opened his eyes and let them adjust to the light before taking in Beomgyu’s expression. “What’s wrong? You look–”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Beomgyu said.

He got to his feet and rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand. No tears had fallen, but he felt close to crying. Beomgyu didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want Soobin to see how sad he was. Their time together was limited and he didn’t want to ruin it by crying over something that couldn’t be helped.

“Is this about yesterday?” Soobin said. “Are you regretting–”

“No,” Beomgyu said, turning around to look at him. “I’m not regretting anything about yesterday. I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed, I guess.”

“Come here.”

Soobin opened up his arms and Beomgyu easily got back on to the bed, falling into his embrace. Their future was doomed, but at least he could enjoy this moment. That was all he could do.

“I’m sorry I’m acting so weird,” Beomgyu said. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“That’s okay,” Soobin said. “I have a lot on my mind, too. But right now, I just want to think about how happy I am.”

“Because you got laid?”

“You really can’t just let us have a nice moment, can you?”

“Never.”

He didn’t know how long he stayed in Soobin’s arms, but eventually they had to leave. They gathered their things and did a double check of the cottage to make sure they didn’t forget anything. Soobin took the backpack and Beomgyu carried Yuseong. She was in a better mood, judging by her loud purring as Beomgyu held her close.

“Have you called your parents?” Soobin asked.

“I texted them last night,” Beomgyu said. “I told them I was staying over at a friend’s house. They said it was okay. What about your mom?”

“I texted her yesterday, too,” Soobin said. “I guess we won’t run into a search party on the way back.”

“What a shame.”

The ground was still damp from the rain, causing the air around them to smell strongly of wet bark and dirt. Most of the animals all seemed to still be asleep, or at least still in shelter, like they were afraid the rain would start again. The entire world around them felt so calm. It contrasted perfectly with the turmoil Beomgyu was feeling.

He wanted to speak up, to tell Soobin that he didn’t want this to be over. Beomgyu had only known him for a month, but the thought of living without him was torturous. This summer was simultaneously the worst and best one of his life.

“Hyung,” Beomgyu said.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” he said. “For everything. I don’t think I could have survived this summer without you. I don’t think… I don’t think I would have been able to trust new people if I hadn’t met you. Spending time with you, getting to know you, having you accept me has all been so overwhelming and wonderful and I never thought that I could ever be this happy in this town. So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Soobin said. He seemed confused, like Beomgyu’s words hadn’t made total sense to him. That was all right though. Beomgyu didn’t need him to understand. All he wanted was for Soobin to know that he meant a lot to him. “I’m glad I could make you happy. You deserve to always be happy, Gyu.”

They continued their walk through the forest in silence. Beomgyu wasn’t going to break down. He wasn’t going to start crying and begging Soobin to stay. Saying goodbye wouldn’t be easy, but he couldn’t think about that right now. He needed to focus on the time they had left, not what would happen after their time was up.

★彡

“Is it weird that I can’t wait to come back home?” Kai said. “I’ve liked being on vacation and the beach is nice, but I miss my bed.”

“Your bed?” Beomgyu said. “That’s all you miss?”

“Well, I guess I miss you, too,” he said.

“Thanks.”

Beomgyu came to the conclusion that Kai was spending too much time in close quarters with Taehyun. Usually he would be giving him a long speech about how much he missed him and now he was giving deadpan remarks instead. Beomgyu didn’t really mind though. Just being able to talk to his friends was already putting him in a better mood.

He had been feeling down all day. His shift at the museum ended, but he went home by himself instead of being escorted by Soobin. They were meeting at night to watch the meteor shower. He was sitting at his desk, looking at the last of his homework and feeling nothing but dread. Beomgyu was excited to watch the meteor shower with Soobin, but afterward he knew he would be miserable. All of the excitement would fade and he would be left without any more distractions. The only thing on his mind would be a countdown until Soobin left him.

“So, you’re going to watch the meteor shower with Choi Soobin, huh?” Taehyun said. “Sounds romantic.”

“It will be,” Beomgyu said.

“Someone sounds confident,” Taehyun said. “Are you two planning on having sex again?”

“I’m going to hang up now.”

“Why?” Taehyun said. “You’re the one who told us that you two have done it.”

“I know, but it just feels weird to talk about,” Beomgyu said. “And I know you two probably don’t want any details about me having sex with a guy.”

“I don’t mind knowing details,” Taehyun said. “It’s educational and informative.”

“It kind of grosses me out though,” Kai said. “Not the gay sex part, but just the idea of you having sex. With anyone.”

“Eloquently put,” Taehyun said.

“He really does have a way with words,” Beomgyu said.

Truthfully, he didn’t know if he was going to have sex with Soobin tonight. They had done it a few more times since their first time together. Their ventures in the forest usually ended with them back at the cottage and in the bed, tangled up together. Part of him wondered if it was a waste of time to spend their last week together having sex, but he couldn’t truly bring himself to regret it.

“Changing the subject, how’s your homework coming along?” Taehyun asked. “We’ve already finished ours.”

“We’ve only finished early because he forced me to,” Kai said.

“You should be grateful that he forced you,” Beomgyu said. “I still have a lot left to do, but the end is in sight. I should be able to finish it in time.”

Yuseong was sitting on his desk, reading over one of his assignments for him. She had volunteered to help him proofread and Beomgyu hadn’t hesitated to let her. Getting a second pair of eyes on his work was never a bad thing.

“I can’t believe our last semester of high school is about to start,” Kai said. “I feel like I should still be a first year.”

“Nothing’s stopping you from starting high school over again if that’s what you want,” Taehyun said.

“I said I _felt_ like a first year, not that I wanted to be one.”

Beomgyu smiled to himself, hearing them go back and forth. Just one phone call with them was enough to help calm his heart. Sometimes he would stay up late at night, worrying about how lonely he would feel when Soobin left. It would be the same kind of loneliness he experienced when Yeonjun moved away. Then he would talk to Taehyun and Kai for five minutes and be reminded that he wasn’t alone.

“I’m really looking forward to seeing you two again,” Beomgyu said.

They stopped mid-conversation, like they were startled by Beomgyu’s sudden confession.

“I’m looking forward to seeing you, too, hyung,” Taehyun said.

“Yeah, me too.”

The phone call ended soon after that and Beomgyu found that he did feel slightly lighter. Everything would be all right.

“You should try to enjoy tonight,” Yuseong said. “I know you’re feeling down because he’s leaving soon, but you shouldn’t let that stop you from having fun.”

“I know,” Beomgyu said. “I’m trying not to think about it, but that only makes me think about it more.”

“Don’t worry so much,” Yuseong said, nudging him with the top of her head so that he would pet her. “Focus on the present instead of worrying about the future.”

“That way of thinking only works for when you’re worrying about a distant future,” Beomgyu said. “I’m worried about next week.”

“Then, let me try a different saying,” she said. “Stop worrying about things you can’t change.”

That advice felt even worse to listen to. He would have to accept it though. Beomgyu scratched behind her ears before looking at the assignments he had to finish. There were still a few hours left before Soobin would pick him up, so he wanted to finish as much of it as possible.

★彡

Yuseong refused to go with them to see the meteor shower because she didn’t want to relive a “traumatizing experience” if they ended up back at the cottage. Instead, Beomgyu had let her outside when they left. She told him she would find her own viewing spot and then return back home when it was over.

Once she walked off, Soobin took his hand and gave it a small squeeze before leading him toward the forest. They passed a lot of people as they walked through the neighborhood. Beomgyu saw more people outside then than he had all summer. They were carrying lawn chairs and picnic baskets and binoculars. It was the most alive the town had felt in a long time.

“This is the first time I’ve gone to watch a meteor shower,” Soobin said. “I always slept through all the other ones. My mom would take pictures and show me in the morning.”

“That’s not the same as actually seeing one,” Beomgyu said.

“I know,” he said. “I guess I just never had anyone I wanted to watch one with. Until now anyway.”

“Your mom isn’t special enough to watch a meteor shower with?”

“I’m trying to be romantic.”

“Being romantic shouldn’t include dissing your own mother.”

“I always try so hard to make you swoon, but you’re never impressed with me, are you?” Soobin said.

“I’m most impressed with you when you’re not trying so hard.”

He liked Soobin the most when he was being his awkward, goofy self. Beomgyu never wanted Soobin to think that he had to try hard to be something that he wasn’t.

They walked through the forest together and Beomgyu realized that going to the forest was starting to feel like coming home. It was familiar and welcoming and he always felt safe. The forest was like a barrier, protecting him from the realities of the outside world.

“I brought a blanket so we won’t have to sit on the ground,” Soobin said as they climbed up the hill that led to their viewing spot. “Some snacks, too.”

“You thought of everything, didn’t you?” Beomgyu said.

“I tried,” Soobin said. “I just want this night to be perfect. I want it to be special.”

“Me too,” Beomgyu said.

It was their first time back on the hill after they first discovered it. Most trips into the forest ending with them in the cottage. They never made it all the way to the top anymore. It was exactly how Beomgyu remembered it though. He didn’t know why, but every time they revisited a place in the forest, he expected it to not be there anymore or to be different.

“Do you know how long it’ll last?” Soobin asked as they sat down.

“Usually a few hours,” Beomgyu said. “That’s how long it’ll be visible, anyway. Meteor showers can last for days.”

“Wow,” Soobin said. “I don’t know why, but I thought it would only last for a few minutes, like an eclipse.”

They spread the blanket on the ground and sat down. Soobin put his arm around Beomgyu’s shoulders and he leaned against him, looking up at the sky. The moon was only half full, but there wasn’t a single cloud in sight. They would be able to see everything.

Neither one of them felt the need to say anything while they waited. Beomgyu felt like everything he needed to say to Soobin had already been said. He was content, knowing that Soobin knew exactly how he felt. All they had to do for the rest of their days together was enjoy the other’s company and prepare to say goodbye.

That last part felt impossible.

“Look,” Soobin said, pointing to the sky. “I think it’s starting.”

One stream of light passed across the sky, so quickly that Beomgyu feared he would blink and miss it. Another followed soon after, and then another. They seemed to be taking turns. One at a time they would light up the sky, moving in a perfectly timed pattern. Eventually two appeared at a time, then three at once.

It was beautiful and it made Beomgyu feel smaller than he ever had before. This town was miniscule compared to the world around them. Beomgyu was microscopic. All of his troubles and worries seemed so small. They didn’t mean anything to anyone but himself. He thought he would find it comforting, knowing that his role in the universe was just as meaningless as everyone else’s. Instead, it made him so anxious.

“I can’t believe this is my first time seeing one in person,” Soobin said.

The shooting stars seemed to get bigger, like they were getting even closer. Beomgyu felt like all he had to do was reach out and he would be able to touch one. It was a terrifying thought, getting burned by that bright light.

“I’m happy we’re doing this together,” Soobin said.

They got brighter and brighter. Instead of going in a straight line across the sky, they seemed to twist and turn together. The patterns they created were starting to give him a headache.

“What I’m about to say is… a lot, but I need you to know this,” Soobin said. “We’ve only known each other for a few weeks, but Beomgyu, I know that I lo–”

“I don’t want you to go,” Beomgyu said, finally taking his eyes off the blinding lights. “You don’t have to enlist right away. You have years before you have to enlist. Can’t you stay? Stay until I graduate and we can enlist together. Or… or come with me to whatever school I go to and we can enlist once I get my degree. We can live together and have a life and–”

“Beomgyu,” Soobin said. “I’ve already finished the paperwork. I can’t just take that back. It’s my duty to go.”

“I know,” Beomgyu said. He wasn’t even trying to stop the tears from falling down his face. “I know you have to go, but why… why do you have to leave me? Why did I have to meet you? You’ve made me so happy and now you’re abandoning me.”

“We knew this was going to happen,” Soobin said. “I can’t stay. I want to. Trust me, I want to stay with you so bad, but I can’t. I’ve wasted time in this town for almost two years. I need to do something with my life. I have to do it for myself, not anyone else. Not even you.”

His words only made Beomgyu cry harder. He fisted his hands in the front of Soobin’s t-shirt and pushed his forehead against his chest. Beomgyu wasn’t like the lead actors in dramas and films. He couldn’t cry a few pretty tears when he was in distress. He was loud and upset and he coughed a few times, like he was about to be sick. His head ached and he didn’t know what to do.

“We’ll keep in touch,” Soobin said. Beomgyu couldn’t see his face, but his voice sounded watery. “I want you to stay in my life.”

“That’s easy to say,” Beomgyu said. “But we’ll drift apart. One day you won’t even remember me.”

“That’s… Even if we drift apart, I won’t forget you,” Soobin said. “I’m never going to forget the first person I ever loved.”

Beomgyu wanted to return the words, but he felt like it would too painful. If he said those words, he could really fall apart.

“I’m going to go,” Beomgyu said instead. “I have to leave. This is… This entire thing was a bad idea. I never should have talked to you in the convenience store and I never should have let you walk me home and I never should have fallen… Goodbye Soobin-hyung. Good luck with your future. I wish you have nothing but happy days for the rest of your life.”

He left. Beomgyu walked down the dark hill by himself in the forest that felt like it was slowly starting to close in on him. Soobin didn’t follow him.

★彡

Yuseong was curled up on his bed when he got home. He didn’t know how she had gotten back inside. His parents must have finally realized he had a cat and let her back in. Beomgyu slept on top of the covers so he wouldn’t move around too much and wake her.

The next morning, he woke up to the feeling of a hand running through his hair. For a single, blissful second he could imagine it was Soobin’s hand. They were in the cottage together, lying on the tiny bed and only focused on each other.

When he opened his eyes, he didn’t see Soobin. He saw his brother instead.

“Hyung?” Beomgyu said. “Why are you–”

“I told you I would come to visit after the meteor shower,” Yeonjun said. “It’s already past noon and your eyes are swollen. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Beomgyu said, sitting up in bed.

“How was the shower?” Yeonjun asked. “Did you go with Soobin?”

“I did,” he said. “It was fine.”

“Everything seems to be fine with you, huh?”

Beomgyu got out of bed and went to his mirror. His eyes were indeed swollen. It had been hours, but his head still ached as well. Nothing compared to the pain in his heart though. He wished he could turn back the time and redo how he said goodbye to Soobin. That wasn’t possible though and the thought of seeing him again filled him with anxiety.

“Do you want to hang out with me today?” Yeonjun asked. “We can have lunch together and then go see a movie. I’ll pay.”

If this were any other day, he never would have let Yeonjun pay for him. But today he felt so miserable and he was in desperate need of a distraction, so he agreed.

“Let me get ready and then we can go,” Beomgyu said.

Yeonjun left the room so that he could change clothes and make himself more presentable. Beomgyu sat on the bed, unmoving for a few minutes. He needed to pull himself together. His world didn’t revolve around Choi Soobin. He needed to stop acting like it did.

Once he was ready to go, he looked around the room, feeling like he forgot something. Yuseong was nowhere to be seen. Beomgyu walked into the hallway, looking into each room he passed by in search of her. Once he reached the kitchen, he was relieved to see that she was sitting on the counter, watching his mother wash dishes.

“There you are,” Beomgyu said. “You almost never leave my room.”

“I think she likes the faucet,” his mother said. “Every time I turn it on, she sticks her paw out to touch it.”

“How long have you known I took in a cat?” Beomgyu asked. She seemed completely calm, like Yuseong’s presence wasn’t a surprise to her at all.

“Oh, Beomgyu, I’ve known for weeks,” she said.

“Really? I thought you didn’t notice.”

“How could I not notice a cat in my own house?” she said, patting his cheek. “Your brother is waiting outside. Go on.”

He told his mother goodbye and scratched behind Yuseong’s ears before he stepped outside. Yeonjun was in front of the house, stretching his arms over his head. He reminded Beomgyu of a cat, stretching in the sun.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Beomgyu said.

They walked to a small bunsik restaurant close to their house. It had been there ever since Beomgyu was a baby. With every year that passed he was able to see the couple who owned it become older and grayer. It was one of the charms of a small town, he supposed.

“What happened last night?” Yeonjun said as they sat down. “Did he hurt you?”

“Who?”

“Choi Soobin, obviously,” Yeonjun said. “Do I need to give him a lecture? Or do you want me to go straight to punching? I’ve never been in a fight before though, so I can’t promise I’ll get the results you’re looking for.”

“I don’t want you to fight anyone,” Beomgyu said. “You don’t need to lecture him either. I ended things, that’s it. He’s leaving soon and it didn’t seem worth it anymore.”

“Really?” Yeonjun said. “Every time we talked on the phone, you seemed pretty gone for him. You just walked away?”

“Yeah, I did,” Beomgyu said. “Hyung, being with him just… I loved being next to him. I was so happy, but every time we parted I would be reminded that it was temporary and it killed me. I couldn’t do that to myself anymore.”

“I get that,” Yeonjun said. “Did you two at least talk about it and get closure?”

“I got enough closure,” Beomgyu said. “I’m fine. Really, I am. You don’t have to worry about me.”

It was easy to see that he wasn’t fine at all. He was sure that even the people in the restaurant and strangers on the street would be able to see that he wasn’t fine.

“I do worry about you though,” Yeonjun said. “You telling me not to worry only makes me want to worry more.”

“Well, you shouldn’t,” Beomgyu said.

They didn’t talk much while they ate. When they did, Beomgyu was always the one asking questions about Yeonjun’s life. He asked him about school and his roommates and his part-time job and if he had been on any dates lately. Beomgyu wanted to hear all about Yeonjun’s life while forgetting about his own.

After they ate, they went to the theater. They saw an action movie that had a plot that was just simple and stupid enough for Beomgyu to be distracted. For two hours he could focus on flashy, heavily choreographed fight scenes and explosions. Once the credits started to roll, he was trapped in his head again.

“The first one was better,” Yeonjun said as they walked out of the theater. “Why are sequels never as good the original?”

“I guess it just doesn’t feel new anymore?” Beomgyu said. “I haven’t seen the first one, so I can’t really compare it.”

“We should watch it when we get home.”

“Okay.”

“Anything to distract you, huh?”

“What?” Beomgyu said. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been somewhere else all day,” Yeonjun said. “It’s been weird. Usually when I come to visit, I have your total attention. But today, you feel so far away. You should call him.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” Yeonjun said. “You just don’t want to.”

He didn’t bring it up again. They went back home and watched the movie and, predictably, Beomgyu couldn’t focus on it. When it was over, he watched as Yeonjun took the DVD out of the player and put it back in its case.

“Hyung, can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Yeonjun said. “You can ask me anything. What’s up?”

“A few years ago,” Beomgyu said, “when all of those rumors about me started. Did you ever… You know they weren’t true, right? Because sometimes I think that you and Eomma and Appa all think that I–”

“You’ve been worrying about that all this time?”

“Yeah,” Beomgyu said. “I still think about it a lot.”

“Kids can be really mean,” Yeonjun said. “They make up stupid shit to hurt people because they think it’s fun. Of course I knew it wasn’t true.” He sat down on the couch next to Beomgyu and put his arm around him. “You shouldn’t keep all of these thoughts to yourself, you know? Even if I live in a different city now, I’m still only a phone call away.”

“I know,” Beomgyu said. “I just sometimes think it’s easier to not say anything at all.”

“In my experience, I’ve found that just because something might be easier, that doesn’t make it better.”

Beomgyu went to his bedroom feeling only slightly lighter. It was good to get a clear answer from Yeonjun, but he found that hadn’t been the main reason for his worries. Soobin and how he had ended things were his main problems.

“Did you have a good day?” Beomgyu asked Yuseong when he entered his room. “Eomma said that you two spent the day together.”

Yuseong meowed in response.

“Very funny,” Beomgyu said. “What did you two do?”

She meowed again.

“Yuseong?” he said. “What’s going on? Why won’t you speak to me?”

Her head tilted to the side, like she was trying to understand what he was saying. Beomgyu continued talking to her, but she never responded. This couldn’t be happening. It was like every good thing that had happened to him this summer was being reversed. Suddenly, Beomgyu remembered what she had told him when they first met. Yuseong left the girl she lived with before because she stopped being able to understand her.

“You can’t leave,” Beomgyu said. “Please, Yuseong, don’t leave me. It doesn’t – It doesn’t matter if we can’t talk anymore. I just don’t want you to go.”

They fell asleep together and when he woke up the next morning, he almost cried in relief, because she was still there.

★彡

Beomgyu stood outside of Soobin’s house with his hands in his pockets. He didn’t know what he was doing. Calling him would have been easier. Texting him would have taken little to no effort. Showing up in front of his house was terrifying. Yeonjun had encouraged him to do the terrifying thing though and he had listened like an idiot.

He could just turn around and walk back home. When Yeonjun asked him how it went, he could say that no one was home. Then he could call Soobin, or text him, or even better, send a letter to his house. Maybe he could learn how to make smoke signals. That could be interesting.

“Beomgyu?”

While he had been wondering how smoke signals even worked, the door had opened. Soobin was carrying a trash bag and wearing his typical white t-shirt and shorts and Beomgyu thought he looked beautiful.

“Hi,” Beomgyu said.

“Hello,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m just passing through.”

“Oh.”

“That was a lie,” Beomgyu said. “I’m here to see you.”

“Oh.” It was a very different sounding “oh” compared to the previous one. “Why? I thought you said everything you wanted to say already.”

That hurt, but Beomgyu supposed he deserved that. He pressed his lips together and nodded as he tried to find the right words. During his walk to Soobin’s house he had come up with a million different speeches, but none of them felt right.

“I’m sorry,” Beomgyu said. “I shouldn’t have left like that and I shouldn’t have said those things. I… I was so scared. I’m _still_ scared.”

“Of me?”

“No,” Beomgyu said quickly. “Never. I could never be scared of you. Soobin, I’m so scared of what’s going to happen when you leave, but I need to move past that fear. You’re leaving and I can’t change that and I need to accept that. I want to spend the rest of the time we have left being together. I want to make the most of these last few days. Do you think you can give me another chance?”

Soobin dropped the trash bag on the ground and walked toward him, taking Beomgyu into his arms. “If we had more time, I want you to know that I wouldn’t forgive you this quickly.”

“Noted,” Beomgyu said, holding onto his shirt. “So, you are forgiving me?”

“I don’t think I would be able to live if I didn’t,” Soobin said. “I was going to stop by the museum if I didn’t hear from you again. I couldn’t leave things the way they were.”

They stood together in the middle of the street with their arms around each other. A few people passed them, but no one gave them a second glance. No one was paying attention to him. People didn’t stare him down and judge his every move. That had always just been in Beomgyu’s head.

“I want us to try and make this work,” Soobin said. “I know we don’t have good odds. I know it’s unlikely that we can keep this going after I leave, but I still want to try.”

“So, I can’t get a new boyfriend as soon as you’re gone?” Beomgyu said.

“Don’t joke about that, please,” Soobin said. “You’re going to make me have sleepless nights at the military base, wondering what kind of good looking guy will come along and sweep you off your feet.”

“Consider my feet firmly planted on the ground then,” Beomgyu said. “And you have nothing to worry about. None of the guys at my school pay any attention to me. I should be worried about you, surrounded by military men.”

“I don’t think finding a boyfriend is going to be the number one priority for anyone there,” Soobin said. “I’m sure we’ll be very busy with a lot of other, more important things.”

“I’ll try not to worry then,” Beomgyu said.

“Good.”

Soobin leaned down and kissed him and Beomgyu felt like his heart was soaring, just like the first time they had kissed. He had watched movies and read books about young love and how it was fleeting. People said it didn’t last forever and that summer romances weren’t built to last. Nothing about their relationship was any different from any of those, but that didn’t mean Beomgyu was content to give up. Not anymore, at least. He wanted to try and make this work for as long as he possibly could.

Once they parted, Soobin rested his forehead against Beomgyu’s.

“Do you want to go to–”

“Yes,” Beomgyu said. “Yes, I do.”

“I didn’t even finish my sentence,” Soobin said.

“You didn’t have to. I already knew what you were going to say.”

After Soobin finished taking out the trash and telling his mother that he was leaving, he took Beomgyu’s hand and walked with him toward the forest.

★彡

The last few days they had together weren’t spent any differently from the days before. They explored the forest and talked about anything and everything and always, without fail, ended up at the cottage. It was their last time there today. Soobin was leaving tomorrow and Beomgyu wasn’t any less anxious about it than he was before.

He was sitting on the bed, feeling nervous about what they were about to do. They had talked about it a lot and Soobin always assured him that it wasn’t necessary, they didn’t have to rush anything. Beomgyu didn’t feel like they were rushing though. He was nervous, but he wasn’t scared or regretting his choice. This was something he wanted so badly and it was something he only wanted to share with Soobin. Beomgyu wanted all of his firsts to be with Soobin, as cliché as that sounded.

“Okay, I’ve, uh, got everything,” Soobin said, joining him on the bed. In his hand were a condom and a small bottle of lube. “Are you sure about this? We don’t have to.”

“I want this,” Beomgyu said. “I’m totally sure. I’ve also been, um, practicing on my own, so it should be okay. Just go slow and don’t–”

“I’ll be careful,” Soobin said. “And slow, of course. Very slow. Tortoise slow.”

“You don’t have to be _that_ slow.”

“I’m going to be,” Soobin said. “This will take no less than five hours.”

“Just kiss me already,” Beomgyu said.

They made out for a while, taking things one step at a time. Soobin’s hands on his body and his weight on top of him were so familiar and he felt so safe. This was okay, it wasn’t scary, it felt good. That was the mantra that Beomgyu kept repeating in his head. They took their clothes off and the feeling of Soobin’s bare skin against his own was also safe and familiar.

“You’re so beautiful,” Soobin said. He moved his hips against Beomgyu’s, the friction making both of them moan. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I’m going to miss you, too,” Beomgyu said.

He had read a lot about this online. Beomgyu knew that being on his hands and knees would be the most comfortable position for his first time, but he didn’t want that. He wanted to be able to see Soobin’s face. Beomgyu wanted to be able to remember everything about this and he didn’t want his memories to be full of him looking at a mattress and nothing else.

“Can you please just start?” Beomgyu said, spreading his legs even more. They had been rocking together for so long and his cock was aching and leaking onto his stomach. “I want you.”

“I’m here,” Soobin said. “I’ve got you.”

Soobin stayed true to his word and took his time. The first finger didn’t go in easily. Beomgyu needed to relax more. So, they kissed for a while longer until he was so comfortable he felt like he could melt into the mattress. Soobin tried again and his finger slipped inside of him without much resistance. The second went in soon after and Beomgyu couldn’t get used to the feeling. Soobin’s fingers were much bigger than his own. The stretch from two of Soobin’s felt like three of Beomgyu’s.

“You okay?” Soobin asked.

“Yeah,” Beomgyu said. His voice sounded thin and breathy. “Keep going.”

He pushed in a third and Beomgyu had to squeeze his eyes shut tight at the feeling. Beomgyu never knew it was possible to feel this full. He didn’t think he would ever get used to it, but Soobin let him take his time adjusting. His fingers started to move in and out of him, fucking him shallowly and making Beomgyu stutter out a moan. Soobin kissed him again and he started pushing back against his fingers, fucking himself.

The stretch still wasn’t totally comfortable, but some pleasure was starting to join his other senses. He wanted to tell Soobin to hurry up, but he kept those words to himself. Beomgyu refused to have a painful and uncomfortable first time. He was going to let this take as long as it needed to so that they both got something good out of it.

When Soobin finally pushed his cock into him, Beomgyu tried his hardest not to tense up. He clung to Soobin’s shoulders and forced himself to take deep, even breaths. It didn’t feel bad, they had prepared enough, but it was still foreign to him. They took their time though, like they had been doing all night.

“I can stop if it’s too much,” Soobin said. “We don’t have to–”

“I want this,” Beomgyu said. “Just start moving.”

“Slowly?”

“Yes, please.”

It didn’t instantly feel amazing. Soobin kept his word and moved slowly, giving Beomgyu all the time in the world to adjust. He started to thrust into him, keeping the movement short so that it wasn’t too overwhelming. With ever slide of Soobin’s cock inside of him, Beomgyu started to experience more and more pleasure. It was different from what he felt when he jerked off or when they rubbed against each other. This pleasure was more subdued, it wasn’t as intense. Not at first anyway. It slowly built up inside of him. With each thrust, Beomgyu thought less and less about the pain of the stretch and more about how full he felt and how close he felt to Soobin.

He knew it was embarrassing, but Beomgyu felt connected to him. Soobin’s breath fanned over his skin and his voice echoed in his ears. Beomgyu opened his eyes to see Soobin’s eyebrows scrunched up together and his teeth digging into his lower lip. It was like he was doing everything he could to hold back and not let his instincts get the best of him. And that was one of the reasons why Beomgyu loved him so much.

Beomgyu reached down to stroke himself while Soobin continued to thrust into him. He didn’t feel an explosion of pleasure when he came. His vision didn’t white out and he didn’t tremble and shake. It washed over him in waves. His cock spilled come onto his stomach and he couldn’t stop himself from tightening around Soobin’s cock inside of him. Beomgyu’s fingernails dug into the skin of his shoulders.

“That was so good,” Beomgyu said, kissing Soobin’s earlobe after he too found his release. “Thank you for taking such good care of me.”

“Always,” Soobin said. He was much more out of breath than Beomgyu was. Holding himself back must have taken a lot out of him. “I’ll always take care of you.”

“I know you will.”

★彡

Beomgyu took Yuseong with him to the train station to say goodbye. He still couldn’t understand her, but she had stayed with him. She must have become as fond of him as he was of her. They were on the platform, watching as Soobin hugged his mother goodbye. He had a duffel bag packed and his hair had been shaved off. Soobin was right. He still looked handsome, even with a buzz cut.

Soobin’s mother was the first to spot him. She smiled sweetly at him and turned her son around to face him, giving him a light push. With each step Soobin took toward him, Beomgyu felt his eyes sting more and more. He was going to cry and there was nothing he could do about it. That was okay though.

“So, this is it, huh?” Beomgyu said once Soobin was right in front of him. “This is goodbye.”

“It’s not goodbye, you know that,” Soobin said. “It’s just a ‘see you later.’”

“I know,” Beomgyu said.

“Come here,” Soobin said softly, pulling him into a hug. He made sure to keep enough space between them so Yuseong wouldn’t be crushed. “You can always visit me. Make your brother buy you a train ticket the next time you have a break from school.”

“I don’t need him to buy me one,” Beomgyu said. “I’ve saved up a lot of money. I can buy my own.”

“We’re going to be okay,” Soobin said. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Beomgyu said. “This is still going to hurt a lot though.”

“Oh, definitely,” Soobin said. “As soon as I get on that train I’m going to cry my eyes out.”

“Well, I’m already crying,” Beomgyu said. He could feel a few stray tears fall down his cheeks. “So, the least you could do is cry on the train.”

They didn’t say anything else for a few minutes, they just held each other. At one point, Soobin reached between them so he could pet Yuseong. She leaned into his touch, purring softly. Beomgyu didn’t need to be able to talk to her to know that she was going to miss him too.

An announcer came on over the PA system at the station, telling them that the train would depart in five minutes.

“This is really it, huh?” Beomgyu said.

“It really is,” Soobin said. “I have something for you.”

He reached into his pocket and took out a small drawstring pouch. It was a deep green and felt like it was made from cheap fabric. Soobin placed it in his palm and waited for him to open it. Inside was a bracelet made of brown leather, attached to it was a dark gray, jagged stone.

“It’s a meteorite,” Soobin said. “Not one of the ones that fell during the shower we watched. I don’t know how I could even find one of those. I got it online and the website looked legit. I just… Maybe it was a bad idea, I don’t know, but I like the idea of you wearing something that I gave you, something that’ll remind you of this summer and of me and–”

“I love you,” Beomgyu said.

Soobin stopped talking. His eyes widened and his lips appeared to tremble and finally, it looked like Beomgyu wasn’t the only one who was going to cry. Soobin cupped his face in his hands and brought their lips together in a final kiss.

“I love you, too,” Soobin said. “I don’t think a day is going to go by without me thinking of you.”

“Good,” Beomgyu said, “because I’m never going to forget you either. See you later, hyung.”

“See you later.”

Soobin slipped the bracelet on to his wrist and then kissed his palm. He closed his eyes as Soobin gave him another kiss, this time to the top of his head, and he didn’t open them again until Soobin was already walking away. Beomgyu watched as he hugged and kissed his mother goodbye. He gave Beomgyu one final glance before boarding.

Beomgyu cradled Yuseong against his chest as he kept his eyes on the train. Even as it started to move, he kept watching it. The bracelet felt warm and heavy on his wrist. He knew it would act as a constant reminder for him. It would remind him of his first love who he knew, without a doubt, he would see again one day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this fic. I wrote it in five days and I'm very fond of it. I've always wanted to write a summer romance fic with a bittersweet ending, so I'm happy with how this turned out. I hope you enjoyed it and I would love to know what you thought of it.
> 
> Thanks again!  
> \- Erin  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/linksofmemories)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/linksofmemories)


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